Its been nearly FOUR months since I decided to ween off my anti-depressants. Is it just me or does that seem like a VERY long time? I have never been all that crazy about the idea of being dependent on pills. Now I have abused my share of prescription drugs over the years. But that was always for immediate gratification. The thought of it taking a 1/3 of a year to get over medication is down right obnoxious.
So you can bet your ass I'm not going to jump at the chance to get back on any kind of meds. And truth be told, I'm a lot happier without them. Now granted, the edges can sometimes be a tad more jagged, but hey, that's being alive! Life isn't supposed to be an easy ride. Its bumpy. Its up and down. You're supposed to get pissed off. You're supposed to get fucking mad. And you're supposed to get sad. That's life baby! And the thought of taking some little "happy pill" to white wash the whole experience is bogus.
And these cats that go all crazy when they go off their meds... well, no shit captain. If they feel half as bad as I've felt the last four months, then...
And of course, you can't just take a pill and make everything better, boys and girls. You've also got to work on the trouble. You've got to try to get better, so that the medication isn't shouldering the burden. Because the band aid will wear out. It will start to tear, and then what professor? More meds? Fuck that!
I'm thinking that I've got a couple of days left before I can completely kiss the pills goodbye. I haven't taken one since Saturday. I'm dizzy as shit right now, but I'm hoping that my brain will feel better tomorrow morning. If not, then I'll take one. One every two day has taken me four months! As I so eloquently said... fuck that!
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