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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008...

Goodbye 2008.  Thanks for the giggles.  I'll be glad to see you leave.  But I must admit, you came on pretty strong there in the end and made yourself one of the most memorable years in quite some time.  I'm sure that when I look back, 2008 may well be the year where everything finally started turning around.  I've just got to keep the momentum going into 2009.

A year-in-review is not needed.  A lot happened, but I won't go into it.  Suffice it to say, outside my own little world, it was one of the most turbulent years in memory.  The economy is in the garbage.  The housing market is about to crash.  There is serious unrest in the middle east.  Our nations political arena is still wobbly, even though we have a new man at the helm.  Yada yada yada.

Tomorrow I quit smoking.  Tomorrow I quit drinking for a little while.  Tomorrow I try to  put myself on a path to gain some clarity and hopefully start moving in a new, positive direction.  Tomorrow is the beginning.  And so I say again, goodbye 2008.  Thanks for the giggles.........

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters

"Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters"

And now I know
Spanish Harlem are not just pretty words to say
I thought I knew
But now I know that rose trees never grow in New York City

Until you've seen this trash can dream come true
You stand at the edge while people run you through
And I thank the Lord there's people out there like you
I thank the Lord there's people out there like you

While Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers
Turn around and say good morning to the night
For unless they see the sky
But they can't and that is why
They know not if it's dark outside or light

This Broadway's got
It's got a lot of songs to sing
If I knew the tunes I might join in
I'll go my way alone
Grow my own, my own seeds shall be sown in New York City

Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
And I thank the Lord for the people I have found
I thank the Lord for the people I have found

-Elton John

Friday, December 19, 2008

Thoughts on a Nap...

Ah, the nap.  The glorious nap.  Few things in this world are as special as the nap!  Sound a bit overboard, do I, friends and neighbors?  Maybe, yes.  But can anyone actually tell me that they wouldn't love to settle down for a nice nap during their day?  What a luxury to have the time to stop everything and close your eyes and sleep!

I have valued naps more than most things since my high school days.  My boarding school was a tough one.  We were pushed from early morning until 11PM every night.  Sleep was a prized commodity.  So we slept at every chance we could get.  15 minutes?  No problem.  Lunch or nap?  Nap, damn it.  Bet your ass I'm going to grab some shut eye.

Then came college and naps became important for different reasons.  Classes began as close to noon as possible, so getting up at the butt crack wasn't a factor.  Rather, the hang over became the enemy.  And the nap became the cure.  A two hour nap could recharge the batteries for a repeat performance.  And let's not forget about all the pot smoked.  Nap after bong hits was a given.  Duh!

But the working world was next, and the glorious naps became extinct.  No sleeping on the job.  Work, work, work.  Do, do, do.  Blah, blah, blah.  You can bet your ass, though, that a nap would make an appearance during the weekends, though!  That is, unless you work in the restaurant industry.  Lately, I have taken a 2 hour nap every day for the past 5 or 6 months.  I get up, do a few things, eat lunch, and then sleep until its time to get up and shower before work.  And what an amazing thing to wake up refreshed from a nap and then head to work.  Yes, one of the great perks to working in the restaurant biz and doing nothing else is that I can get 10-12 hours of sleep at night AND take a nap during the day.  Now that's what I'm talking about!

There are nap rules.  Not all agree with my nap rules, but they are important to me and must be obeyed.  First and most importantly, you may NOT get under the covers!  That is the ultimate no-no.  Getting under the covers constitutes going to bed.  And a nap is not going to bed.  A nap is a glorious rest.  A reprieve from the day.  You are supposed to get under a blanket or throw, but NOT under the covers.  You can't break the seal.  The only other rule is that PJs really shouldn't be worn.  You should be dressed, for the all the same reasons as why you can't get under the covers.

And I've saved the best naps for last.  The naps that are far and away some of the most magical experiences we can have: naps with a loved one.  With all the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, with all the bullshit and noise and grief, with all of the crap, isn't it a little piece of heaven to be able to curl up with someone you love and hold them tight and smell their hair and close your eyes and fall asleep with them.  Snuggling, spooning, what have you.  The whole point is to stop everything and curl up and sleep.  Now that's special.  That's one of the things I miss most about not having a girlfriend.

Ah, the glorious nap.  I have iTunes playlists for them.  I make time for them.  I cherish them.  It is one of our little miracles that we can just stop everything and close our eyes and dream.  Ah, the glorious nap...........

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lonely Ole Christmas...

I can't help but feel pains of nostalgia during the holiday season.  I have had some amazing Christmas holidays over the years.  I find myself thinking of my EHS days, in particular.  We would have crushing exams right before we left for break.  And my first year, we were still very much running under the old "rat" system that the school was founded on.  The day we were leaving for home, all the new boys on 2nd McGuire had to go sing Christmas carols to all the seniors on the hall, which basically meant that we had to walk into several lion's dens.  But more memorable than that was the fact that I was going home to see Alice.  We had met over Thanksgiving break, and in one short month I had fallen in love for the first time.  This was the first girl I had ever said "I love you" to.  We had an amazing break together.  I still have a picture of us together during those few weeks together and I cherish that picture like few others.

Another EHS Christmas break was spent with Micki, another girl who I had fallen in love with.  I remember that break as being a very rowdy one.  And then there were the college Christmas breaks.  Lots of Phish shows.  Lots of debauchery.  Lots of great memories.

But these days the fun is all gone.  I have no one special to spend the holidays with.  No girlfriend to buy gifts for.  And the immediate family has fallen into a noticeable rut.  That is not to say that I don't have great time with mom and dad and sister on Christmas.  But is really no different than any other day.  We all have just let it slide into a very casual holiday.

And I dread New Year's Eve like no other day of the year.  It has become the loneliest day of my calendar year.  That feeling started in Aspen and has intensified with each passing year.  While I loathe the night for its "amateur" status, I still long for someone special to ring in the new year with.  I long to have someone special to kiss and the big apple falls.  I long to look into someone's eyes and whisper in their ear, "Happy New Year my love!"  And this New Year's Eve will be no different.  I will be sad and depressed at the thought of entering another year very much alone.  And so I say, "It's a lonely ole Christmas........"

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas in Aspen...

The season has been pretty mild so far.  In fact, if it wasn't for the decorations in the restaurant, I wouldn't even know we were in the midst of the season.  I guess that is both good and bad.  Good because nothing kills the mood than an obnoxious season.  Bad because this is supposed to be the busiest month of the year.

Christmas in Aspen was the most dreadful experience you could ever wish on an enemy.  Locals who were fortunate enough to avoid Aspen would disappear until the new year to avoid the town.  And it was just the damn people who made it bad.  All the richies who owned the gigantic mansions on Red Mountain would descend on the town for 2 weeks and everything would go to hell.  These people are the rudest, most unpleasant people you could imagine.  Unlike the tourists who would visit during other times of the year, these awful people would look down on everyone around them.  It was truly a miserable experience.  And every local in Aspen will agree.  Granted, it was a big money time.  But we all hated those people.  And we dreaded those miserable two weeks.

But so far, this season is nothing like that.  I know it couldn't be because we generally have all the visitors that Aspen did.  We just get a ton of Christmas parties.  We also get family members coming to visit.  So all in all, its a mild, tame season.  But hopefully the restaurant will make lots of money this season.  I really don't want to look for a job in 2009..........

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Best Friends...

Is it human nature to want to rush in?  Is it in our nature to see/feel something that we really want and then want nothing more than to rush in and embrace it?  Throw caution to the wind.  Jump in head first without a moment's thought.  I wonder.  Because that's what I've always done.  I have historically jumped the gun and thrown all caution to the wind.  And, you know something friends and neighbors, it hasn't really worked out that well for me.  In fact, you could say that its been more or less 100% bad.  Hmm.  Think about that one.  The only time that pops into mind when I haven't gone rushing in and have actually formed a friendship first was Marcia.  We were very close friends for quite some time before we stepped it up a level.

I don't have any problem with taking things slow.  I mean, I've been single for so long that I don't feel any pressure to jump right in.  Now that's not to say that I wouldn't jump the minute the opportunity presented itself.  But I am fine developing a friendship first....

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Great American Novel...

Been wanting to write a book for quite some time now.  I've always enjoyed writing.  I've always been praised for my writing.  Its always come very easy for me.  Words are fascinating and putting them together to form thoughts and ideas has enthralled me since I was little.

When I was a little boy my grandmother would read my little sister and me Dr. Seuss books.  They would make me laugh and laugh.  And she encouraged that.  She pushed my imagination.  I credit her and those early years for igniting a passion for words.

The trouble, though, is that I've been waiting all these years for an idea to come.  I've been hoping my muse will deliver a wonderful story to my brain and I'll just sit down and begin to write.  Call me crazy, but I don't think that the way it happens.  I think that the process starts on a much smaller scale and evolves into something bigger and more complex.

That being said, I've tried to use this blog as a chance to work on expressing my ideas.  I've sounded off on elections, candidates, cell phone users, anything and everything that pisses me off.  And now that a new year is approaching, I think I might need to start working on something of substance.  If nothing else, it could be a great learning experience for me.  I've never tried to write anything of any considerable length before.  And I've got a pretty good idea of what the books about.  Or, at lest I've got an idea of where to start.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have but one Christmas wish.  And that is true.  And its such a big wish.  And I do wish it would come true.  I think I'm due up.  I've been good.  I've waited patiently.  When others were getting their wishes, I've bitten my tongue and smiled.  My sister, for instance.  Seems she gets just about everything she wants.  And now I feel like its my turn and I should get wish granted.  And, oh how happy that would make me!

In other news, I found my first ex-wife on Face Book last night.  I friended her (a term that means I sent out a request that we be friends... she has to accept... and then we can communicate).  The funny thing is that I really don't remember anything about her.  I don't remember much about our relationship.  Its quite strange, really.  I remember before and after, but for some reason our time together is hazy at best.  And I've said for a while now that I'd love to catch up with her again.  I'd love to go out to dinner with her and get to know her again.  I'd love to do all this because it might explain a little bit about how I've ended up where I am.  It might shed some light on Angie.  And from the stories I've heard from my family, I'd just like to see if what they thought about her was true.  So we'll see if she responds or not..........

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hot Water...

The winter months at my apartment building are interesting months.  They are old apartments and the hot water can be kind of touch and go.  I learned last year that you need to sometimes give yourself about 1 hour to wait for the hot water, which kinda sucks, because that's one hour of letting the water just run down the drain.  But, that's pretty much the only way to get a hot shower.  So I'm letting the water run as I write this little blurb, in hopes of getting some hot water today.  Yesterday, I didn't time it right and was not so lucky.

I'm growing to despise the other blogger about as much as a Duke fan.  The author is the most pretentious, stuck-up little snob I've come across in a long time.  I'm sure she's as bad if not worse in person than she portrays herself on her blog.  But I still read it all the time.  Can't help myself.  Used to read it because I liked it.  Now I read it because she's so ridiculous that I just have to shake my head and laugh....

Not much else happening worth commenting on.  Gavin was in town last night.  We went out drinking on the company dime.  Always good times when he visits.  And I can tell by his topics of conversation that he's very much the family man these days.  Finn is 18 months and their second child is due in February, a fact that still blows my mind.  But seeing how happy he is makes me think that I too would maybe, just maybe enjoy the family life.  There's just the wee small problem of not even having a girlfriend.  So alas, my dear family life, we shall have to wait...

OK... just went and checked the shower and the water's starting to get hot... in less than 15 minutes.  So, friends and neighbors, I'll just sign off for now.......

Monday, December 1, 2008

Bootlegs...

I can remember getting my first couple of Grateful Dead bootlegs back when I was an early teenager.  Man, they were like treasures!  Most of them had been copied so many times that they sounded like shit.  But it was so incredible to me to have actual copies of old shows.  And I learned the whole bootleg language and how to write down set lists and everything.  And then I scored more bootlegs and more bootlegs.  I became obsessed with trying to get as many as I could.

Then along came recordable CDs.  Now we could put bootlegs on CD and not have to worry about fast-forwarding and rewinding, etc.  So out went all the old cassette cases and in came all the CDs.  We'd go to shows and brag about how many Phish or Widespread shows we had.  Yada yada yada.

Now there's the internet.  Everything is available with a point and a click.  You could have a zillion bootlegs if you wanted to.  Hell, you can copy shows straight to iTunes and then upload them onto your iPod.  All digital.  No worries of getting a 3rd generation.  Straight soundboard all the time.

I'm writing this because I'm listening to a streaming recording of last Saturday's Widespread show in Asheville (today is Monday).  It always amazes me what technology can do.  Gone are the days of old cassette bootlegs.  In are the days of being able to stream and listen to a show you saw less than 24 hours ago.  Amazing.......

Some Christmas thoughts...

My first thought about Christmas is always: "My god, is really Christmas time again!?"  It seems that each year it gets here faster and faster.  Wow!

Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of year.  Of course, for youngsters, its the whole Santa Claus and toys thing.  But in high school it was incredible because I went to a boarding school and Christmas meant getting to see all my friends for almost 3 weeks.  And unlike spring break, everyone was always off, so we could all spend time together.  And the times we spent together for those 3 Christmas breaks was magical.

And then came the restaurant biz and everything changed.  Rather than attend Christmas parties, I was working them.  Rather than enjoy time with friends and family, I was serving them all dinner and drinks.  Rather than go out and get crazy on New Year's Eve, I worked it and hated it.  So its very safe to say that Christmas has taken a much different direction these last 10 years.

So what is Christmas now?  Well, not very much, to be sure.  But I still keep a few things special.  I only listen to my Christmas music for the month of December.  The rest of the year its off limits.  So I enjoy hearing it once a year.  And there are a few cherished movies that seem to still hold a little Christmas magic.

It was pretty cool in Aspen during the month of December because it was cold and grey and snowy.  I attribute those qualities to Christmas.  It needs to be cold and grey and snowy.  Hot, sunny and clear IS NOT Christmas!

So as I type this little ditty on December 1st, I'm filled with mixed emotions.  Its going to be a busy month.  Its going to a good money-making month.  Its going to be over pretty much right when it begins.  And then another lack-luster Christmas season will be over and I'll put my special music on the shelf until next year.  This Christmas, though, I do have a Christmas wish.  Just one single wish.  I do hope it comes true.  And should it come true, then this will be be the best Christmas I've ever had..................

Writer's Block?

One post in November.  Stellar!  Top notch performance!  Guess its safe to say that the month of November was utterly forgettable.  And it was fast.  My god, that month went by in a literal flash.  I was commenting to a friend at the bar the other night that November basically didn't happen.  I remember Halloween... and then it was December.  Oh well.  Maybe next year we'll get a 12-month year.

Also been noticeably absent because I've got this blog hooked up to my Face Book page, which I thought would be a good idea.  I'm not so sure anymore.  I enjoyed the complete anonymity of this blog.  No one ever reads it.  I can say whatever the hell I want and not worry about repercussions.  I can spill my guts, delve into personal little secrets and the like and not worry about who reads it.  But dipshit me connected the two, so now wandering eyes can venture into my blogosphere.  Damn it Beavis.  Need to do something about that.

So I'm going to try to put something down every day this month.  Need to get back into the swing of things.  And this is a good month to do that because of all the bullshit that the Christmas holiday comes with...


Monday, November 10, 2008

WTF?

13 in October.  Nothing yet in November.  What gives?  Nothing to say?  No commentary on the elections?  Nothing fun and exciting to report?

Yes to all the above.  It would seem that life is very much in coasting mode, with no commentary needed.  A few random thoughts have crossed my mind, but nothing that would make for a good post.  So I'm just gonna throw this down so as to have written at least something in the last 2 weeks.

Guess the only good news is that my muse/nemesis is putting out a bunch of mindless bullshit, so I'm not really falling that far behind.  And then there's always the approaching holiday season...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Phones Are Dead...

Carolyn had a pocket full of sunshine, but then she accidently sat on it. 5:57pm

Philip Harmon at 6:07pm October 21
And darkness descended on the land...

Carolyn Molway at 10:21pm October 21
Haha yes, and then we all froze, sorry guys..

Philip Harmon at 10:23pm October 21
And to think, everyone's been going on about these green house gases and such... when all along it was your ass that done sent us into the frozen years!

Carolyn Molway at 10:29pm October 21
It changes lives.

Philip Harmon at 10:32pm October 21
I'm assuming we're talking about your ass and not green house gases or frozen years. But to go with my assumption (which, as you know, makes an ass out of me and you), you should use that fine ass of yours for good, not evil...

Carolyn Molway at 10:38pm October 21
It helps me get jobs and higher tip percentages

Philip Harmon at 10:46pm October 21
Then you are using it for good. So go forth, young Carolyn, and snuff out not the sun, but shake that ass and reap the sweet rewards. The world is your oyster, so shake that booty. (If you could hear me right now, I'm making a "rrrrrrr" cat sound as I snap my fingers in some hipster dufus way that I don't understand but somehow think is cool...

Carolyn Molway at 10:50pm October 21
Ha I'm going to have to before gravity takes hold of it.

Philip Harmon at 10:52pm October 21
let's see... 2007-1987= 20 years old. Think time is on your side, there hot pants...

Philip Harmon at 10:54pm October 21
No wait... shit, its 2008, isn't it? That equals 21 right? Oh, well now you're fucked!

Carolyn Molway at 11:03pm October 21
It's all downhill from here Phil

Philip Harmon at 11:06pm October 21
Ain't it the truth, my dearest. But the good news for you is that at least you won't go bald! Oh yeah, and you're really hot. So, wait, shut the hell up! I'm the one should be crying in my cheerios!

Carolyn Molway at 11:11pm October 21
Ha, Phil, are you just trying to blow sunshine up my ass?

Philip Harmon at 11:15pm October 21
Nicely done! I was hoping we were going to get back to your ass. But of course, being the southern gentleman that I am, I couldn't just go straight back there (man, are there some puns there!!!) But since we're back... why yes, that is exactly what I'm trying to do. Sunshine up your ass. I wouldn't have it any other way (again with the puns)!

Carolyn Molway at 11:17pm October 21
HAHA! Ok this is getting bad, I'm deleting this before my family reads it adios muchacho

Philip Harmon at 11:17pm October 21
adios my dear!

Are You Getting All This?

I'm not liking the tone of your voice.  First off, you are not and never will be Jamaican.  That needs to be understood, felt even, if we are to begin a dialogue on the inappropriateness of singing Christmas carols in the middle of October.  Knowing that all things secular would have us decking the halls whilst we carved pumpkins, I can vaguely understand your excitement about singing the few songs that you actually know all the words to.  But, can we please address the issue of Jah and pot and dreadlocks and how none of this really jibes with carols?  Think for a minute, ponder if you will, and get back to me....

Monday, October 20, 2008

State Fair

Went to the NC State Fair last night.  Big fun!  Big big fun!  I usually go to sample the culinary treats.  Most years I just binge on corn dogs and avoid the rides.  But last night we were all about the rides.  And rode we did!  Upside down, twirly, flipping and all kinds of stuff.  It was great!  And the company I was there with was even better.  MP is quickly jumping up the charts as one of my favorite people to hang out with.

In other news, the blogger I follow the most closely is at it again.  I'm beginning to detest this person the way I detest a Duke fan.  But she's got me hooked, so I keep reading the crap she writes.  I am quite certain now, based on her many posts, that she is one of the most conceited people one could ever meet.  This woman is so high on herself and her views that it is almost comical.  And she represents everything that I really hate about the Democratic party.  I would be much more willing to embrace them wholeheartedly if they didn't have people like this particular blogger screaming that crazy bullshit that she screams.  What a nut job!  But she does inspire me to write on my own blog.  So I guess she's not completely worthless.

So that's that.  I guess the thing to do now is rock this week out and make lots of money.  Oh, and curb my spending a tad.  It sucks going through the weekend with $2.00 in your bank account.  Better to monitor the ole spending, as to avoid those tough financial times.........

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Where's the Money?

I need a day job, friends and neighbors.  Badly.  In the worst way.  To say that I'm cutting it close each month is an understatement of political proportions.  I currently have $1.38 in my bank account.  My kittens haven't had their beloved dry food in three weeks.  They've been getting by and the "reserve" cat food that my mom picks up at Sam's whenever she goes.  They don't like it, but they realize we're all in crunch time, so they're eating it.  And then there's me.  I haven't had groceries in the the house in weeks.  And I'm running low on some of the vitals.  So, I need to make some damn money.

And thoughts of this nature always drag me into regret for the way I've spent the last decade.  While most of my friends are now reaching some level of financial security, or at least breathing room, I am far from it.  I chose to keep having fun and avoid anything resembling responsibility.  I chose a "career" that is absurdly easy.  A "career" that entails over-drinking and over-sleeping.  And my reward for this choice is that I have no savings, no retirement and $1.38 in my bank account.  And I have no marketable skills.  So while I rapidly approach the ripe age of 40, I have nothing to really look forward to.  What does a 40-year old do to find a job that pays well after squandering the last 15 in the restaurant biz?

Yeah, this line of thinking doesn't make me happy in the least, friends and neighbors.  If I gave it a whole lot of thought, I'd probably worry myself to death.  And while the naive, childish cliche of "everything will work out" might work for someone in their 20's, its pretty hard to believe that in the mid-30's.

But suffice it to say, I need a damn day job.  Got to get some money with a quickness...............

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Beginning to See the Light...

It is becoming increasingly clear in these ultra-political days that I may very well be a member of the wrong party.  And say "wrong party" not because they are wrong by definition.  I use the word "wrong" to mean that they may not be the right party for me.

The party I have been loyal to for a while now does not have a lot in common with me.  As an atheist, I think the religious right is completely full of shit.  And dangerous as hell.  As much so as the damn jihad.  The fact that this group was part of my party was a complete embarrassment for me.  And I would like nothing more than to distance myself away from these nutballs.

I also feel like my party would look at me financially with complete disdain.  I am not rich.  I will probably never be rich.  I am in fact a poor servant to the fat cats in my party.  I bring them food.  They treat me like shit.  And yet I belong to their party and spout their beliefs.

I believe that women should be able to responsibly choose to get an abortion if they want one.  I have no problem with gays getting married.  If the dumb asses want to join together in misery, let 'em.  I believe we should clean up the environment and work on alternative energy sources.

I also believe we should clean up our international image.  And when we have achieved an international image overhaul, I believe we should pull back and become much more isolationist.  I really don't like us getting involved in every damn thing going on everywhere.  We should be working on cleaning up our country.  Let the other ones deal with their own problems.

I believe we should really work on border control.  We are losing our identity.  We are Americans.  We speak English in America.  EVERYONE should speak English in America.  How you communicate in your homes or churches or social clubs or whatever is your business.  But in this country at large, we speak English.  This open border problem will fuck us up as much as our energy crisis or our poor international image.  This shouldn't be overlooked.

But what I'm really getting at is that I'm not sure I'm part of the party that best represents me.  I'm going to need to really think about this.  I know that I will be voting for the other party's candidate for president.  Whether I vote for every member of that party on election day remains to be seen.  But I believe I'm beginning to see the light.................... 

Thursday, October 9, 2008

And Now For Something on the Lighter Side...

Enough about the election!  Who cares about the economic crisis?  Let's focus on some real news:

Playboy Hugh Hefner eyeing twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Amy Leigh Andrews as girlfriends
BY KORIN MILLER
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Well, that was fast!
Hugh Hefner is already on the hunt for new girlfriends just days after longtime loves Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson announced the end of their respective relationships with the Playboy founder.
The veteran bachelor has admitted he's considering making 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon official girlfriends.

RELATED STORY: HEF'S GIRLS: 2 DOWN, 1 TO GO
The twins, who partied with Hefner on Oct. 4 wearing little more than body paint and briefs, "very much want to be girlfriends," Hefner told E!. "Now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends." This wouldn't be Hefner's first foray into twindom: The 82-year-old dated Bentley sisters Sandy and Mandy in early 2000.

RELATED STORY: HEF'S MANY PLAYMATES
Amy Leigh Andrews, a 24-year-old college senior from Georgia, is also angling for a spot in the line-up.
"She was testing here this past weekend and she said she'd like to be a girlfriend, too," Hefner said.

RELATED STORY: HOLLY MADISON SPLITS WITH HUGH HEFNER
So, who are these girls?
According to their respective MySpace pages, they're blonde, determined and not afraid of a little nudity.
"Obstacles r put into your life to see if wut u want is worth fighting for!!!" Karissa, who appears in a skimpy bikini alongside her sis in her profile picture, wrote on her page.
Twin Kristina's lingerie shot contrasts sharply with her romantic quote: "Love me without fear. Trust me without wondering. Love me without restrictions. Want me without demands. Accept me how I am. A love like that will be ETERNAL!"
Meanwhile, Andrews cites the wisdom of reality star Paris Hilton: "The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in."
Ample cleavage shots, pictures from a Halloween party at Hooters and Marilyn Monroe wallpaper also enhance her site.

Hefner's remaining official girlfriend Bridget Marquardt, who is believed to still be involved with Hefner, is reportedly abroad filming episodes for her upcoming Travel Channel series, "Bridget's Beaches."

A rep for Playboy had no comment on Thursday.

As if we didn't need another example of how our society is plummeting into shit!  Who fucking cares about any of this?  And the quote by perhaps the most worthless person in this country (Paris Hilton) really sums the whole god damn thing up: "The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go.  Life is too short to blend in."  Wow......

Malkovich

Malkovich malkovich.  Malkovich, malkovich?  Malkovich malkovich malkovich.
Malkovich malkovich, "Malkovich, malkovich malkovich malkovich."  Malkovich.  Malkovich malkovich: malkovich.
Malkovich... malkovich, malkovich.  Malkovich!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Service Industry

As a long time member of the service industry, I always get a chuckle out of the fact that those in the industry genuinely hate the people they are charged with taking care of.  Granted, this really only applies to those of us who might be called "professional servers," because we've just been in the game so long that we've become bitter.  I imagine that those sad souls who work in the corporate chains such as Chilis, etc. hate their customers as well.  That should go without saying because that clientele really has no clue how to dine and/or tip.  But those of us who find ourselves in the up-scale restaurants have developed a deep loathing for some/most of our guests.  Be in rudeness, cheapness, crassness, what have you, we just don't like you much.  But we love our jobs and we really enjoy working with people who share our views.  We're usually foodies, meaning we know a lot about and really appreciate good meals.  We're drunks and like to go out and drink very large quantities of just about anything.  We like the lifestyle.

I bring this up because one of the blogs I follow was mentioning local watering holes.  The tone of the particular post was very conceited (which I starting to realize is just the true nature of the author).  But I found it funny in a way too.  I guess those of us in the game see the whole thing in a different light.  But I find it very amusing when people talk down about places and describe the clientele that they find so offensive, while they are right there in the very heart of the crowd they are slamming.  Hypocritical to the extreme.  But there again, it little factions within this larger group begin to butt heads and clear certain places out because they can't stand to be close to their own kind, then more power to them.  The bar will be less crowded for those of us who are there to get some drinks.

Long story short, people are hypocrites.  People spew their so-called knowledge when in fact they don't have the first clue in hell what they're talking about.  I guess we should all just chuckle to ourselves................

Friday, October 3, 2008

Open Window Policy...

Is it even possible to compare the glory of an autumn day versus the glory of a spring day?  I mean both times are relative to the extremes they follow.  Those first warm days after winter are nothing short of miraculous.  To finally put on a t-shirt and shorts and bask in the warm sun.  Wow!

But then there's autumn in NC.  We've just made it through another torturously scalding summer and then the cool air blows in.  Windows immediately open.  Long sleeves are pulled out of drawers and closets.  Leaves begin to turn.  Days get shorter.  There's even the occasional shiver from the cool air.  Heavenly.

I would have to tip the scale towards autumn days.  Two Reasons.  First, we've got football and college basketball on the way.  Spring has the Masters and then a long drought for anything resembling exciting sports.  Second, there's no pollen in autumn.  Granted, the azaleas and dog woods are more than beautiful in the spring.  But there's all that damn pollen.  Equally beautiful are the autumn leaves.

So as I've already said, but will say again: I love this time of year and the month of October in particular.  Open those windows.  Go to the ball game.  Crack a beer.  Put on that sweatshirt.  Rustle through some leaves.  Get out and enjoy, friends and neighbors..............

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Autumn Leaves...

It always blows my mind to think about how music can produce such vivid memories.  Most of the time I have trouble remembering what I did a week ago.  But let me listen to a particular song and I can all but tell you every single color, shape and smell of a particular memory.

I used to listen to the Windham Hill Guitar Sampler to fall asleep back in junior high.  I remember a particular autumn evening taking a nap as the sun was setting.  I had my window open and there was a smell of burning leaves coming through the window.  The wind was blowing and there was the sound of rustling leaves.  It was an incredible nap.  I remember lying there vividly.  And to this day, the songs on that CD still conjure those memories.

I got home last night and read one of my favorite blogs.  I like to check it often.  The author is quite good.  Very much conceited and quite full of herself.  And her youth often shines through in her posts.  But for some reason, I like to read what she has to say.

Last night though I was quite pissed.  What I read seemed to be a challenge.  Granted, it wasn't in any way a challenge.  And by thinking so, I'm showing that I, too, am conceited.  But damn it, I got mad.  And so I am answering the challenge.  I can write too, you know.  I can spew forth the most mundane drivel anyone has ever read.  And I will.  Back to the old days of posting every day.  Come hell or high water I will find something to write about.  Challenge answered........

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Trimming the Fat...

I really don't want to work 2 jobs.  Really, really don't.  So its trim the fat time.  Cut to the bone.  Unfortunately the main area where I could trim expenses is the one area where I don't want to: alcohol.  Everything else can be tinkered with.  But damn it, leave my alcohol alone!

What I need is to win the freakin' lottery.  I mean, let's just get it over with, friends and neighbors.  I'd be a great rich person.  I'd give back.  I donate, etc. etc.  All my friends would get styled.  Life would be good.  And I'd still work.  Probably keep my restaurant gig.  Like those trust funders I worked with in Aspen who did it as a social activity and not for the money.  Yeah, that'd be sweet.  And then I wouldn't worry about how in the holy hell I was going to pay these bills.  Because I know pretty much how much money I'm going to make each night at the restaurant.  The trouble is when you start doing the math and realize that there aren't enough days in the month to cover the bills.

Maybe its time to jump ship.  Bankruptcy, baby.  Not a bad word anymore.  Or better yet, I can watch the economy and the country slide into further turmoil.  When we all start losing our jobs and can't afford things, I'm pretty sure that credit card debt will be one of the last things on our list of priorities.  These greedy vultures will feel the pinch of not collecting on the billions of dollars that the average american owes, and then those sorry fucks will go under.  And I will be like one of a zillion americans who just can't pay the bills.  And all will be solved.  Hell, maybe the government will pass some bill that'll bail all us average folks out of the shitter.

But I really don't want to work 2 jobs.  That's pretty much what was on my mind.............

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Where's My Muse?

My muse is out to lunch.  Or maybe on vacation.  There's always the sabbatical idea, which I like, cause maybe then she'll come back re-charged and energized and ready to inspire to new and great heights.  Whatever the reason, I hope she hurries her little self back.  Because I've got nothing these days, friends and neighbors.  Nothing.  Like gas stations.  Like answers by the politicians to our mounting problems.  Nothing.

Course, I could post my thoughts on the economic crisis.  But that's boring.  All we hear all day long is a bunch of partisan ideas and complaints and solutions.  Blah, blah, blah.  Could it be that this great empire is falling.  I mean, we all took history.  We all learned about the great ones falling.  They all did.  Is it our time?  Scary thoughts, huh kids?

Could talk about college football.  UNC is looking good.  Butch has us pointed in the right direction.  Give the man another year and I think we'll be on the national stage.  And that'll be pretty damn nice.  We can cheer for the Heels from September until April.  Because we all know damn well that Roy is just getting warmed up.  The talent he's bringing in and the program he's running are just going to get better and better.  And Coach Fucking K is declining with each passing year.  Pretty soon those god damn Cameron Crazies won't have nearly as much to scream about.

Could talk about the changing of the seasons and how much I love Autumn.  October being my most favorite of all the months.  I'd love for December to regain some of its luster, but that'd take a small miracle.  So I'll just keep loving October.  The smell of the leaves and the occasional fire from someone's chimney.  That evil, "something wicked this way comes" feeling that you can almost feel in the air for the week around Halloween.  Man, what a great month!

Anywho, hope she comes back soon.  Cause that's just the broad strokes.  We're really needing to sink the ole teeth into something meaty.  Something tangible.  Something big.  But maybe, hopefully, wherever she is, she's having a big old time.  God speed, my muse........................... 

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Today's Horoscope...

"Interpersonal issues that were overwhelming yesterday now seem more manageable. If someone wants to talk with you today, don't let the opportunity pass, for you should be able to speak with great ease about sensitive topics. Remember, the point isn't to convince anyone that you are right; it's just about sharing your heart and listening with an open mind."

Well that's a relief.  There actually was a topic that I broached yesterday with someone but didn't get to finish.  But the planets tell me that today's the day to tie things up.  Thank goodness.  I was sweating it.  But, man do I love it when the planets come to the rescue and make everything all better......




Wednesday, September 17, 2008

This Is Just a Test...

It appears that I've somehow linked my blog with Face Book so that my posts appear of my profile page.  An interesting twist if in fact that's the case.  So this is a test to see if that is true.

WCPE is playing the entire "Nutcracker" by Tchaikovsky.  My favorite.  I only listen to it during the month of December (and of course if and when WCPE plays it).  So today is a treat.  I also save Vince Gauraldi's "Charlie Brown Christmas" for the month of December.  Unfortunately, every retail store in America likes to rape Charlie Brown for the 3.5 months of Christmas season.  Poor guy.  And that being said, I suppose since football season has started, we'll probably start hearing Christmas music any day now.  Guess I should probably go get my tree........

Face Book (Here We Go)...

I've been wanting to write a post lately about this whole "Face Book" and "My  Space" thing.  The posting I had in mind wasn't going to be pretty.  Sort of on the same lines as my views on cell phones.  But I got an email from my buddy Gavin saying I should get on Face Book.  So I did.  After all, Gavin is rarely wrong.  Almost prophetic in a way.  

Yeah, so got onto Face Book last night.  So far so good.  Already found some people I have wanted to get in touch with.  Found some others I never expected to hear from ever again.  So gotta say that its pretty cool to hopefully reconnect with some of these people.

And I was trying to put some content on my home page thingy.  But of course, I'm rather hungover this morning and my brain is just not firing very well.

Nap.  Must nap.  Need some more sleep...... 

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

David Foster Wallace (from the NYT)

David Foster Wallace, Influential Writer, Dies at 46

By BRUCE WEBER
Published: September 14, 2008

David Foster Wallace, whose prodigiously observant, exuberantly plotted, grammatically and etymologically challenging, philosophically probing and culturally hyper-contemporary novels, stories and essays made him an heir to modern virtuosos like Thomas Pynchon and Don DeLillo, an experimental contemporary of William T. Vollmann, Mark Leyner and Nicholson Baker and a clear influence on younger tour-de-force stylists like Dave Eggers and Jonathan Safran Foer, died on Friday at his home in Claremont, Calif. He was 46.

Mr. Wallace was an apparent suicide. A spokeswoman for the Claremont police said Mr. Wallace’s wife, Karen Green, returned home to find that her husband had hanged himself. Mr. Wallace’s father, James Donald Wallace, said in an interview on Sunday that his son had been severely depressed for a number of months.

A versatile writer of seemingly bottomless energy, Mr. Wallace was a maximalist, exhibiting in his work a huge, even manic curiosity — about the physical world, about the much larger universe of human feelings and about the complexity of living in America at the end of the 20th century. He wrote long books, complete with reflective and often hilariously self-conscious footnotes, and he wrote long sentences, with the playfulness of a master punctuater and the inventiveness of a genius grammarian. Critics often noted that he was not only an experimenter and a showoff, but also a God-fearing moralist with a fierce honesty in confronting the existence of contradiction.

“David Foster Wallace can do practically anything if he puts his mind to it,” Michiko Kakutani, chief book critic of The New York Times, who was not a consistent praiser of Mr. Wallace’s work, wrote in 2006. “He can do sad, funny, silly, heartbreaking and absurd with equal ease; he can even do them all at once.”

Mr. Wallace, who had taught creative writing at Pomona College in Southern California since 2001 and before that had taught at Illinois State University, came to prominence in 1986 with a broadly comic first novel, “The Broom of the System” (Viking), published when he was just 24. It used the narrative frame of a young woman’s search for identity to draw a loopy portrait of America on a comic and dangerous spiral into the Disneyesque confusion of reality and artifice.

Mr. Wallace was best known for his mammoth 1996 novel, “Infinite Jest” (Little, Brown), a 1,079-page monster that perceives American society as self-obsessed, pleasure-obsessed and entertainment-obsessed. (The president, Johnny Gentle, is a former singer.) The title refers to an elusive film that terrorists are trying to get their hands on because to watch it is to be debilitated, even killed, or so it’s said, by enjoyment. The main characters are a stressed-out tennis prodigy and a former thief and drug addict, and they give rise to harrowing passages about panic attacks and detox freak-outs. The book attracted a cult of fans (and critics too) for its subversive writing, which was by turns hallucinogenically stream of consciousness, jubilantly anecdotal, winkingly sardonic and self-consciously literary. The following year Mr. Wallace received a MacArthur Foundation grant, the so-called genius award.

In contrast to the lively spirit of his writing, Mr. Wallace was a temperamentally unassuming man, long-haired, unhappy in front of a camera, consumed with his work and its worth, perpetually at odds with himself. Journalists who interviewed him invariably commented on his discomfort with celebrity and his self-questioning. And those who knew him best concurred that Mr. Wallace was a titanically gifted writer with an equally troubled soul.

“He was a huge talent, our strongest rhetorical writer,” Jonathan Franzen, a friend of Mr. Wallace and the author of “The Corrections,” said in an interview on Sunday, adding later, “He was also as sweet a person as I’ve ever known and as tormented a person as I’ve ever known.”

Mr. Wallace was born in Ithaca, N.Y., where his father was a graduate student in philosophy. When David was 6 months old, his father got a job at the University of Illinois, and the family moved to Champaign, Ill., where David became a locally prominent junior tennis player. At Amherst College, he studied philosophy and English, graduating summa cum laude in 1985. It was also at Amherst, said his mother, Sally Foster Wallace, an English teacher who specialized in grammar, that he began to write. One of his two senior theses became “The Broom of the System”; the other was about Aristotle and whether statements about the future can be true.

Mr. Wallace received a master’s degree in fine arts from the University of Arizona in 1987 and began sending out his short stories, many of them collected in the volumes “Girl With Curious Hair,” “Brief Interviews With Hideous Men” and “Oblivion.” He also wrote essays and reported pieces on an astonishing array of topics, from lobsters to Roger Federer, the pornography industry to John McCain, collected in several volumes, the latest being “Consider the Lobster and Other Essays” (Little, Brown, 2006).

In addition to his wife, whom he married in 2004, and his parents, who live in Urbana, Ill., Mr. Wallace is survived by a sister, Amy Wallace Havens of Tucson.

His father said Sunday that Mr. Wallace had been taking medication for depression for 20 years and that it had allowed his son to be productive. It was something the writer didn’t discuss, though in interviews he gave a hint of his haunting angst.

In response to a question about what being an American was like for him at the end of the 20th century, he told the online magazine Salon in 1996 that there was something sad about it, but not as a reaction to the news or current events. “It’s more like a stomach-level sadness,” he said. “I see it in myself and my friends in different ways. It manifests itself as a kind of lostness.”

James Wallace said that last year his son had begun suffering side effects from the drugs and, at a doctor’s suggestion, had gone off the medication in June 2007. The depression returned, however, and no other treatment was successful. The elder Wallaces had seen their son in August, he said.

“He was being very heavily medicated,” he said. “He’d been in the hospital a couple of times over the summer and had undergone electro-convulsive therapy. Everything had been tried, and he just couldn’t stand it anymore.”

Sunday, September 14, 2008

David Foster Wallace

Just found out that one of the great ones has died: David Foster Wallace.  I read "Infinite Jest" a few months back and loved it.  So I am going to cut and paste and article that I just read about him......

David Foster Wallace, R.I.P.
I was about to go to bed when I read the terribly sad news that novelist/essayist David Foster Wallace was found dead in his California home at age 46 after apparently hanging himself. He was married and had been teaching English and creative writing at Pomona College in Claremont.

I profiled him for the Tribune back in early 1996 when his brilliant, prescient 1,000-plus-page novel "Infinite Jest" was being hailed as a masterwork. Wallace, who was born and raised in Urbana, was teaching at Illinois State University in Normal at the time and was wary of what all of the acclaim might do to him.

He told me that after his first burst of fame that followed the publication of his debut novel, "The Broom of the System" (1987), and the short-story collection "Girl With Curious Hair" (1989), he'd entered a hospital and asked to be put on suicide watch.

"In a weird way it seemed like there was something very American about what was going on, that things were getting better and better for me in terms of all the stuff I thought I wanted, and I was getting unhappier and unhappier," he said.

As sprawling, wildly inventive, funny and on-the-money as "Infinite Jest" turned out to be (for one, he envisioned that everything, even years, would be sponsored), he told me his primary goal was "to do a book that was sad." Suicide factored in there, too (see below).

Aside from seeing him at a subsequent Barbara's Bookstore signing a few blocks from my old apartment (I gave him a button from the movie "Babe" because we were both fans; I think he thought that was weird), I didn't keep in touch with him except by reading his various essays and marveling at his gift for making your head spin and the rest of you laugh while he nailed often-uncomfortable truths. Sometimes I wondered whether he'd ever write another novel.

I have nothing more profound to say. I'm seriously bummed.

Here's that 1996 profile:

Date: Friday, February 23, 1996
Source: By Mark Caro, Tribune Staff Writer.
Section: TEMPO

Dateline: NORMAL
Copyright Chicago Tribune

THE NEXT BIG THING

CAN A DOWNSTATE AUTHOR WITHSTAND THE SENSATION OVER HIS 1,079-PAGE NOVEL?

David Foster Wallace's new novel, "Infinite Jest," weighs about 4 pounds and runs 1,079 pages, almost 100 of which are end notes in teeny-tiny type.

It's not the sort of book, in other words, that you're likely to see on the beach, unless it's a really windy day and a pair of sandals and a tote bag prove inadequate in holding down the towel.

Yet the novel has become what the hypesters like to call the literary sensation of this young year. It has attracted attention across the nation's mainstream print media -- Time, Newsweek, Spin, Esquire, Elle, GQ . . .-- and the reviews have been the type that authors compose in their heads as fantasy-fulfillment exercises.

Details writer David Streitfeld: " `Infinite Jest' is bigger, more ambitious and better than anything else being published in the U.S. right now."

New York magazine's Walter Kirn: "Next year's book awards have been decided. The plaques and citations can now be put in escrow. With `Infinite Jest,' by David Foster Wallace . . . the competition has been obliterated. It's as though Paul Bunyan had joined the NFL or Wittgenstein had gone on `Jeopardy!' The novel is that colossally disruptive. And that spectacularly good."

Wallace -- sitting in his Spartan three-walls-and-a-door office at Illinois State University, where he teaches English literature and creative writing -- said last Friday he hadn't read the New York magazine review (immediate response: "Wow") or many others. He chooses to squint at the figurative spotlight.

"Part of me is extremely pleased and gratified, and part of me suspects a trap -- that somehow there's been a great deal of excitement but that nobody's actually read it and that people are going to find out that this thing's actually pretty hard," said the novelist, who turned 34 on Wednesday. "So all this fuss will have been based on a misunderstanding."

Nevertheless, Wallace was reluctantly gearing up to join the machinery. On Sunday, he left his Bloomington ranch house and two black Labrador-mix dogs to embark on a two-week coast-to-coast publicity tour.

He'll read excerpts of "Infinite Jest" (including next Thursday at 7 p.m. at Barbara's Bookstore, 3130 N. Broadway) and participate in interviews where he hoped -- quixotically -- to deflect any attention from himself.

His self-conscious embarrassment about the trip is reflected in a note on his office door: "D.F. Wallace is out of town on weird personal authorized emergencyish leave from 2/17/96 to 3/3/96 and from 3/5/96 to 3/10/96."

Sharing the hype

Good friend Jonathan Franzen, the New York-based author of "The Twenty-Seventh City" and "Strong Motion," sympathized with the inherent tension in promoting "Infinite Jest." Franzen, who calls the book a critique of "the culture of passive entertainment," noted, "The prospect of this book being hyped by Dave's personality has multiple ironies."

"The irony is not lost on me," conceded Wallace.

(The author, by the way, was wearing a yellow bandanna around his head and a white T-shirt, and he abided the university building's no-smoking rule and his own nicotine addiction by stashing a clump of smokeless tobacco inside his lower lip and occasionally leaning behind his desk to spit the juice into a waste basket.)

"For me the nicest of all possible worlds is if some of this hype could kind of spread itself out a little bit, because there's a lot of really good, fairly serious stuff coming out every year that for some reason or another doesn't catch the eye of the great beast," he said, citing such fellow youngish writers as Franzen, Richard Powers, William T. Vollmann, A.M. Homes, Jeffrey Eugenides and George Saunders.

Written over three years during which Wallace lived in Syracuse, N.Y., and Bloomington (he began teaching at ISU in the fall of 1993), "Infinite Jest" is a grandly conceived, dizzyingly executed, darkly comic vision of America's not-so-distant future.

The U.S., having turned much of New England into a toxic waste dump and ceded it to Canada, has evolved into the Organization of North American Nations (O.N.A.N., with any lewd implications being intentional). The action hopscotches among several corporate-sponsored post-millennium years, which are identified not with numbers but labels such as the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment, the Year of the Tucks Medicated Pad and the Year of Dairy Products from the American Heartland.

The plot defies a nifty summary that'll let you fake your way through a cocktail party. Let's just say it throws a wide net around a pot-smoking high-school tennis phenom who compulsively reads the Oxford English Dictionary (characteristics shared with Wallace), substance-abuse treatment programs and the ex-burglar/ex-junkie head of a halfway house, a physician's desk reference's worth of pharmaceutical information, terrorist activities by Quebecois separatists and their secret weapon: a film (on a cartridge) that shares the novel's name and is so entertaining that it either kills or lobotomizes those who watch it.

The novel's ample humor runs from sly and obscure to broad slapstick: a bricklayer's insurance claim letter over an accident involving a bucket of bricks and a pulley is a gleefully low high point. Yet alienation, loneliness, obsessive secret-keeping, addiction and despair hang in the air like dark clouds on a windless November day.

Wallace said that when he began writing "Infinite Jest," he didn't realize how large its scope would be. "I wanted to do a book that was sad," he said. "That was really the only idea that was in my head."

His look at life

The novel's melancholy tone grew out of observations Wallace was making as he looked outward and inward. "It seemed to me that there was something sort of sad about the country . . . that at a time when our lives are more comfortable and more full probably of pleasure, sheer pleasure, than any other time in history, that people were essentially miserable," he said.

He included himself near the top of the list. Born and raised in Urbana, where his father remains a philosophy professor at the University of Illinois, the Amherst College graduate attracted the Hot Young Writer buzz (and facile Thomas Pynchon comparisons) when he had two books -- the novel "The Broom of the System" (1987) and short-story collection "Girl With Curious Hair" (1989) -- published while he was in his mid-20s.

He may not have been a star along the lines of the more commercial Jay McInerney and Brett Easton Ellis, but he received enough attention to "mess up my wiring."

"I went through a real bad three years," he said of the late '80s/early '90s, when he lived in Boston (enrolling briefly in Harvard University's Ph.D. program in philosophy) and Syracuse. He even once checked himself into a hospital to be put on a suicide watch.

"In a weird way it seemed like there was something very American about what was going on, that things were getting better and better for me in terms of all the stuff I thought I wanted, and I was getting unhappier and unhappier," he said.

After a few years of not writing, Wallace plunged himself into "Infinite Jest." He observed open Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in Boston and made himself an expert on the histories of art films, various international alliances, recovery movements and pharmacology.

The research reaped personal as well as professional dividends. "If I hadn't gone to a bunch of AA meetings, I wouldn't have gotten rid of my TV, because I started to realize the TV didn't make me happy, but I couldn't stop watching it," he said.

The theme of addiction carried over to the writing itself, with some friends thinking he had vanished or weirded out. "It made it difficult to be a good friend and to get really immersed in other people's problems because I was trying to remember whether somebody was left-handed from 350 pages ago or something like that," he said.

Wallace sold the book to Little, Brown and Co. based on the first 250 pages, which he'd projected to represent a fifth of the final product. So although he knew -- and was grateful -- that the publisher was prepared for a lengthy work, he did have pause that readers might resist the presumed arrogance of his expecting them to traverse almost 1,100 dense pages.

"When I was in my 20s, I thought I was really smart and really clever and that anybody would be privileged to read whatever I'd written," he said. "It's not that I'm entirely over that problem, but I think as one gets older, you begin to realize there needs to be some sort of payoff."

Wallace tried to bridge the gap between avant-garde fiction--too much of which he considers "hellaciously unfun to read" -- and commercial escapism. So he'll be frustrated if "Infinite Jest" succeeds Salman Rushdie's "The Satanic Verses" and Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" as books that decorate many a shelf without being read.

"I wanted to do something that was really hard but was also really fun and made it worthwhile to spend the effort and the attention to read the thing," he said.

`What it's like to be alive'

Still, he's been fascinated by some reader reactions so far, including some who liken its jump-cut style and information bombardment to cruising the Internet. "I've never been on the Internet," he said. "This is sort of what it's like to be alive. You don't have to be on the Internet for life to feel this way. . . .

"The image in my mind -- and I actually had dreams about it all the time -- was that this book was really a very pretty pane of glass that had been dropped off the 20th story of a building."

Life, incidentally, feels better for Wallace now than several years ago. The teaching takes the pressure off the writing -- financially and emotionally -- and he has enjoyed being back in Illinois despite the flat, dull landscape.

"I thought it would be very boring here, and I'd only stay here a couple of years, but I like this much better than the East Coast," he said.

Victoria Harris, a fellow English professor at ISU, said the students and faculty are grateful to have Wallace there. "He's personally the funniest person I've ever met," she said. "I think he's a treasure. The local fame is something we all like, I think, even more than David."

As for how he'll react to this latest wave of adulation and publicity, Wallace said, "I'd be an idiot if I weren't concerned about it. I'm going to do two weeks of this tour and then it's over, and then I'm back to my life. And I've gotten a lot better at saying `no.' "

The stuff to which Wallace is saying "no" includes TV interviews (though he's considering an appearance on an unnamed PBS show) and the "What's David really like?" kind of features.

"If you're trying to be a writer in a culture where one of our big religions is celebrity -- and there's all kinds of very weird emotional and spiritual and philosophical stuff going on about watching and being watched and celebrity and image -- then you really need to be outside it a bit.

"To the extent that you are watched, I think you're compromised. You now have access to that world in a way that the ordinary reader doesn't. You can't speak for that reader anymore."

#

`INFINITE JEST' ON. . .

The founding motto of the Enfield Tennis Academy: "TE OCCIDERE POSSUNT SED TE EDERE NON POSSUNT NEFAS EST." Its translation (end note No. 32): "Roughly, `They Can Kill You, But the Legalities of Eating You Are Quite a Bit Dicier.' "

A stampeding herd of feral hamsters: "The noise of the herd is tornadic, locomotival. The expression on the hamsters' whiskered faces is businesslike and implacable -- it's that
implacable-herd expression."

A hospital's suicide-watch "Special" staff: "Staffers rotated Specials-duty every hour, ostensibly so that whoever was on duty was always fresh and keenly observant, but really because simply sitting there at the foot of a bed looking at somebody who was in so much psychic pain she wanted to commit suicide was incredibly depressing and boring and unpleasant."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Today's Horoscope...

"All you need is love today, and you have an excellent shot at receiving what you want. Unfortunately, a pleasant day or two won't necessarily cement a long-term relationship, but it still might be a sensual surprise that you remember for a long time to come. Don't push your luck; it's crucial that you know when to stop."

So it looks like I'm in for a pretty good day.  I guess I just have to sit back and let the magic happen.  I mean, who am I to argue with the planets?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Jokerman

Standing on the waters casting your bread
While the eyes of the idol with the iron head are glowing.
Distant ships sailing into the mist,
You were born with a snake in both of your fists while a hurricane was blowing.
Freedom just around the corner for you
But with the truth so far off, what good will it do?

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

So swiftly the sun sets in the sky,
You rise up and say goodbye to no one.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread,
Both of their futures, so full of dread, you don't show one.
Shedding off one more layer of skin,
Keeping one step ahead of the persecutor within.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

You're a man of the mountains, you can walk on the clouds,
Manipulator of crowds, you're a dream twister.
You're going to Sodom and Gomorrah
But what do you care? Ain't nobody there would want to marry your sister.
Friend to the martyr, a friend to the woman of shame,
You look into the fiery furnace, see the rich man without any name.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

Well, the Book of Leviticus and Deuteronomy,
The law of the jungle and the sea are your only teachers.
In the smoke of the twilight on a milk-white steed,
Michelangelo indeed could've carved out your features.
Resting in the fields, far from the turbulent space,
Half asleep near the stars with a small dog licking your face.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

Well, the rifleman's stalking the sick and the lame,
Preacherman seeks the same, who'll get there first is uncertain.
Nightsticks and water cannons, tear gas, padlocks,
Molotov cocktails and rocks behind every curtain,
False-hearted judges dying in the webs that they spin,
Only a matter of time 'til night comes steppin' in.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

It's a shadowy world, skies are slippery gray,
A woman just gave birth to a prince today and dressed him in scarlet.
He'll put the priest in his pocket, put the blade to the heat,
Take the motherless children off the street
And place them at the feet of a harlot.
Oh, Jokerman, you know what he wants,
Oh, Jokerman, you don't show any response.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

-Bob Dylan

X Files - Post Modern Prometheus - Walking in Memphis

I love this scene! I've already posted it to my blog, but it needs to show up once in awhile. Check it out.......

Quite the Disappearing Act...

Two and a half weeks and nothing.  That's a pretty drastic turn from texts every day.  Is is safe to say that you are gone forever?  I'd hate to think that is the case, but all signs are pointing to "yes."  And there isn't much I can do.  My hands are tied.  It was said that there would be new numbers.  Preventative measures taken.  Barriers.  All means used to prevent communication.  Looks like ti worked.  Especially from my end.  I have nothing I can do.  You, on the other hand, I would think have options.  Maybe limited ones, but still some options.  I mean, I'm here.  Nothing changes on my end.  No one sneaking around and checking to see who I'm talking to.  I have the ability to receive and respond to texts at any time.  And yet, not a one.  That's pretty cold.  Pretty fucking cold.  To be thrown away so quickly.  So effortlessly.

Life goes on, though.  Right?  And so I'll just pick myself up.  Dust myself off.  And get back into the game.  Don't put on the injured list.  I'm fine, friends and neighbors.  In a way, its good to get knocked on your ass.  Reminds you of the stakes.  Tests your resolve.  Do you have what it takes, or are you just going through the motions?  Well I say, "game on!"  Game on.................

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Yeah September!

The other blog that I like to read was talking about the season premiere's of certain shows.  Ouch! Don't worry about me EVER writing about some stupid TV show premiere.  I spent some time on Sunday doing my laundry at my folks house.  Its pretty much become the my weekly visit/laundry day on Sunday.  And I usually get in my weekly dose of TV on Sunday.  And let me tell you, that each week I'm left with a serious loathing for that damn box.  I mean, I sit there flipping the damn channels looking for something worthwhile to watch.  And there isn't a damn thing on.

But at least football season has started.  So now I have much more to read on my sports pages.  I won't be seeing too many of the games, what with no TV and all.  But I read about them.  And the Heels won on Saturday, so things are pretty good....

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Life Before Cell Phones...

What did we do before cell phones?  How could we ever have lived?  I mean, look around.  Everyone is on them all the time.  These are obviously very important conversations.  Why else have them in a crowd, in a public place, in the car?  I mean, these all must be live or die kind of talks.  So in that respect, I'm glad they're out there.  I'd hate to think of all the death and chaos that would arise if everyone couldn't conduct their pressing business immediately.

But I still wonder what we did before cell phones?  Actually, wait I remember.  I was alive.  Oh yeah!  So, I remember a time before we even had answering machines.  If you weren't home, the phone would ring and ring and ring.  And the wasn't call waiting, either.  So if you were on the phone, the caller would get this busy signal.  And that lead to phone rage.  A lot like road rage.  Yes, friends and neighbors, there was a time when there was thing as phone rage.  You'd be trying to get a hold of someone and the phone would be busy.  So you'd try back in a few minutes.  And it'd still be busy.  And you would get more and more pissed off.  Because you wanted to talk to this person.  And soon you'd be cussing them.  And if you finally got through, instead of telling them why it was you were calling, you'd probably be like, "what the fuck, man. You were on the phone for hours.  Damn!"

And then we got call waiting and caller ID.  Man was that awesome.  You could actually see who was calling before you answered.  Before that you'd have to screen your calls.  Anyone remember that little practice?  You'd let the answering machine pick up and then you'd listen to the message to see who it was before you picked up the phone.  But caller ID took care of that.

But there were times when people just flat out couldn't get in touch with you.  You just weren't available.  You were out.  At the movies.  Or at dinner.  Or out for drinks.  You know, out.  And no one could get you because you didn't have a phone on you.  Duh!  There were no cell phones. So say you were driving somewhere.  You'd be left to your music and your poor driving skills, because you didn't have a phone in the car.  Duh!  There were no cell phones.  Just you and the open road.

But now those problems are solved.  We can talk anywhere, anytime baby.  And like I said earlier, I couldn't be happier.  Now pressing, life-saving business can be conducted on the fly.  No such thing as being unavailable.  You're alive, aren't ya?  Well by golly pick up your cell phone because you're available.............

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Another Hangover? Seriously?!

I gotta stop drinking so damn much!  I'm getting real tired of these hangovers.  And I hate how hangovers effect me as I get older.  You see, kiddies, when you're young, a hangover is just a really bad headache and maybe some pukers.  But when you get old like me, they become much more insidious.  I don't sleep well, so I'm dragging ass all the next day.  My head hurts, so that's the same as you youngsters.  But I'm also a complete fucking idiot.  I can't process things to save my life.  Simple conversations, simple directions, basically anything and everything becomes that much harder.  I walk around in a complete fog all day long.  It sucks.  And if I got especially drunk the night before, then my equilibrium is off and I'm constantly dizzy.

Yeah, so I gotta lay off the sauce.  I know I'm an alcoholic.  I've known for a while now.  But I also know that the scare tactics that are in place make it seem like all alcoholics are the same and all alcoholics fall-down drunks.  This is not the case.  Its a personal, one-on-one relationship.  Its easy, really.  Who's in control, you or alcohol?  Its not this "how many nights do you drink?  How many drinks do you have?" bullshit.  That's all a bunch of scare tactic bullshit.  Like I said, its one-on-one.  And as far as I'm concerned, when I drink, alcohol is pretty much in charge.  So I watch myself.  I've tried to cut out shots entirely.  Bad things happen when shots are involved.  And I try not to drink every single night.  You know, keep things in check.  Because I really don't want to go back to the meetings.  And I really don't want to quit drinking again.

So yeah, I need to lay off the sauce a tad.  You know, just give the ole body a break for a bit.  Because I'll tell ya, the ole body is starting to get a little pissed.......

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Ah, the Freshmen Class...

Its that time of year again, friends and neighbors: back to school.  I remember with fondness how my buddies and I would head down to the brickyard and watch all the freshmen girls walking to class.  What a great week that was.  I don't think we even went to class.  We'd just perch in front of Harrelson (I think that's the buildings name) and watch the girls, girls, girls.

Of course, that also signifies the beginning of football season, followed closely by the beginning of basketball season.  So I've always had a special place in my heart for "freshmen season."

I also remember how excited we get at the thought of the new freshmen class that would head to Aspen every season.  The mountain would open on Thanksgiving day every year.  And the freshmen would start trickling in between early November and Christmas.  And all the wolves knew that that meant a whole new crop of girls from all over the world arriving in our little snowy paradise, ripe for the picking.  And in Aspen- where the ratio was something like one girl for every 20 guys- there was saying: "if you ever get a chance at the plate, you better swing for the fences, because you probably won't be at the plate again."  I won't bore you with how many times I got to the plate, friends and neighbors.

But for good or bad or the other, its freshmen season................

A Survey Type Thing....

Once again, I have nothing to say.  The news is lame, the olympics suck and nothing is happening in the sporting world.  So I copied this survey thing from another blog I like to read. I deleted her answers and will now fill in my own.  Wow, how original!

1) Raised in:
Fayetteville, NC.  From 1980 until college.  Though we did spend time in Charleston, SC when I was a wee pup and also in the UP of Michigan.  But ole Fayettenam is where all the magic happened!

2) Your name:
Philip H. Harmon.  The H. would stand for Hampton.  My grandfather's name, on my mother's side.

3) Birth date:
June 6th, 1973.  D-Day.  6-6-73.  Lots of 6's with me.  Born on the 6th day, 6th month, at 6:12 PM.  My grandfather died on my 6th birthday at 6:06.  My mother graduated college on 6-6-66.
Satan, baby!

4) Any siblings:
My younger sister Peryn is 32.

5) Oldest of them all:?
I am the first born of the family.  Me and Peryn.  With me being the one who broke in the rentals, took the licks, explored new lands, etc. etc.

6) Hair color?
Red

7) Hair length:
What little bit I have is shaved down to the skin.  Being bald, growing my hair out to any length at all is pretty silly and it looks dumb.  But in college I let it grown down to the middle of my back.  Fucking hippies!

8) First school:
That I really remember... was Fayetteville Academy.  Went there from 2nd to 7th grade.  Then good ole Hillcrest Junior High.  And then off to boarding school at Episcopal High School in Alexandria, VA.  Which, friends and neighbors, is also the boarding school where John McCain graduated from.  Me and McCain are alums.

9) Eye color:
brown.  boring ole brown.

10)Hobby?
Reading.  Reading.  More reading.  I don't own a TV, so when I'm at home, I'm either reading or sleeping.  I love music, too.  Jazz these days.  And classical.  WCPE.  And I enjoy golf, when its not 100 degrees outside.  And I really enjoy writing.  And drinking.

11) Moods?
Consistent.  Laid back.  Approaching the lazy, lethargic side.  But the peaks and valleys I had in Aspen when I was a drunk, drug addict have now softened into a steady plateau.

12) College:
Freshman year was College of Charleston.  7 to 1 girl to guy ratio that year.  Really liked it down there.  Graduated from NCSU.  Go pack!  Four years at State.  Amazed I graduated.  Terrible transcript.  Pathetic attempt.  Time and money wasted.  But I did get my diploma.


LOVE:

1) Do you remember your first real relationship:
My first true love was Alice Burruss.  Get relationship.  I look back fondly.  Still have all the letters she wrote me.  We dated while I was away at boarding school.  Long-distance relationship.  May well be the only reason we lasted for over a year.

2) Do you believe in love?:
Yessir.  But its been a long time since I felt it.  I remember the crazy, in-love feeling I had for some old girlfriends when I was younger.  I haven't felt that in a long time.  The butterflies, etc. It'd be nice to feel those again.

3) Shortest relationship:
They've all been long ones since beginning of college.  Damn, for almost 20 years now!  But back in junior high they were all quick ones.

4) Have you ever been heartbroken:
Every time I've fallen in love, my heart has been broken.  The damn thing is pretty beat up.  That's one of the reasons I wonder sometimes if it really even works right anymore.

5) Do you love someone right now:
Yes.  But I shouldn't.  And I'm not sure the kind of love I'm feeling.  But I shouldn't love her.

6) Have you ever fallen for a best friend:
Nope.  My love's have all developed quickly.  And these days, I don't have a lot of close female friends.  I'm close to a few females at work.  But once you're out of school and getting older, the odds of having a truly close friend of the opposite sex are pretty small, I would think.

7) Are you afraid of commitment?
I'm not afraid of it, no.  But I think I'm really bad at it.  Every one I've had has failed.  Two ex-wives.  Yeah, I think I really suck at it.

8) Do you believe in love at first sight:?
I think so.  It's a nice thought, anyway.  Kind of like Santa Claus.  Doesn't hurt to believe.


THIS OR THAT:

1) Love or Money:
Well, I've still got some bills to pay.  And I'm about as poor as anyone you'd care to meet.  No savings, no retirement plans, no portfolio.  Living from month to month.  Pathetic.  So, it'd be nice to have money.  And I don't think love likes me very much.  So while it'd be nice to have love, hoping hasn't done much good.  Hope in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.  So maybe money, then.  And a bloody ton of it.  Then I can live at the beach and read alot and drink alot and walk the dogs and play golf once in awhile.

2) One night stands or relationships:
Never had a one night stand.  And I've already said how much I must suck at relationships.  But, friends and neighbors, its been a very long time, so at this point I'd take whatever the hell came my way!

3) Television or internet:
I've been TV free for almost a year and a half.  And its awesome!  All these brain-dead zombies talking about what happened on the favorite TV show.  Who got voted off of American Idol.  Who fucking cares, idiots!  I get my news from the internet.  I follow what I want to follow.  I'm not force-fed all the bullshit that TV offers.  So internet, definitely.  And all of you, friends and neighbors, should kill your TVs too! 

4) Pepsi or Coke:
Coke.  Duh!

5) Long night out or romantic night in:
All of my nights out are long nights.  Professional drinkers such as myself don't one-and-done it.  We muscle up to the bar and stay there until someone kicks us out.  But I think I would prefer a romantic night in.

6) Phone or in Person:
I hate the phone!  I bloody hate the fucking phone!  Hate it.  Won't answer it.  Won't use it.  Hate it.  In person.  Face to face, baby.  The ancient art of communicating.  The way we used to do it before everyone and their mother had a damn cell phone stuck to their ear.

HAVE YOU EVER:

1) Have you ever been caught sneaking out:
Yep.  Funny story there, but I don't feel like typing it out.  That's for another post.  But yes, got busted.


2) Have you ever skinny dipped?
Yessir.  Don't remember details.  Drunk.  But, yes.

3) Have you ever been on a house boat?
Nope, but I've been on a really big boat.  (Forrest Gump)

4) Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker:
Ah, yeah.  Duh.  Childhood.  Sugar.  Duh.

6) Have you ever been streaking?
Nope.  I don't like to run.


RANDOM:

1) Are you talking to anyone right now:
Sort of.  I think.  Its really weird.  And I shouldn't be talking to her.

2) Are you German:
Nein.  Is that how you spell it?

3) Are you Italian:
Nope.

4) Are you French:
Nope.  But I spent a summer in France.  Lived with a family in Paris.  This, too, is for another post.  But suffice it to say, I love France.

5) Are you Mexican:
Nope.  But most of the US is getting that way.

6) Are you Dutch:
Nope.

7) Are you Native American:
Well, I was born in Chapel Hill, in the US.  So I am native to the US.  But no, not in that way. 

8) Are you Irish:
No bitch, I'm Scottish.

9) Are you Polish
No.  But I do dumb things all the time.  And I usually need help screwing in a light bulb.

10) Are your parents still married?
Yep.  Amazing.


DO YOU:

1) Do you get depressed easily?
Nope.  That was mostly just the lows of drug addiction.  These days I can keep the depression at bay.

2) Do you live life to the fullest:
No I don't.  I have wasted and squandered most of what has been given to me.  And I am currently doing as little as I can.  Its pretty lame.  All I can say is that I'm pretty tired.  And I no longer motivate myself.  I'm very bored with me.  So until someone comes along who inspires me to get out and do... I'll just keep on squandering.

3) are you comfortable with the way you look:
You gotta kinda have to be.  Scrawny.  Bald.  Obviously not pleasing to the female eye, because no one has shown any interest in so long I can't remember.  But, hey, this is what I got.  So what the hell do I care.  Plus, I'm smarter than most people I know and meet.  So what I lack in appearance, I make up for in brains.

4) How do you dress:
My designers are Banana Republic and J. Crew.  Its comfortable, casual, I guess.  

5) Are you scared of growing old alone?
I'm starting to see that as the writing on the wall.  I've got my cats.  And I'll have some dogs again one day.  So fuck it.  I'll just be that crotchety old guy.

6) What do you want to be when you grow up
I don't know.  I really, really, really don't know.  And I'm getting close to 40.  So I feel like my growing up isn't waiting for me to decide.  And I'll probably die still not knowing what I want to be when I grow up.

8) Are you a vegetarian:
I did have a salad for dinner last night.  But no, I like meat.  I could be a vegetarian, though.  Although, its pretty pointless to try to eat well when you also smoke, drink WAY to much and never exercise.  So at this point in the game, I'm am definitely not a veggie.