Life Before Cell Phones...

What did we do before cell phones? How could we ever have lived? I mean, look around. Everyone is on them all the time. These are obviously very important conversations. Why else have them in a crowd, in a public place, in the car? I mean, these all must be live or die kind of talks. So in that respect, I'm glad they're out there. I'd hate to think of all the death and chaos that would arise if everyone couldn't conduct their pressing business immediately.

But I still wonder what we did before cell phones? Actually, wait I remember. I was alive. Oh yeah! So, I remember a time before we even had answering machines. If you weren't home, the phone would ring and ring and ring. And the wasn't call waiting, either. So if you were on the phone, the caller would get this busy signal. And that lead to phone rage. A lot like road rage. Yes, friends and neighbors, there was a time when there was thing as phone rage. You'd be trying to get a hold of someone and the phone would be busy. So you'd try back in a few minutes. And it'd still be busy. And you would get more and more pissed off. Because you wanted to talk to this person. And soon you'd be cussing them. And if you finally got through, instead of telling them why it was you were calling, you'd probably be like, "what the fuck, man. You were on the phone for hours. Damn!"

And then we got call waiting and caller ID. Man was that awesome. You could actually see who was calling before you answered. Before that you'd have to screen your calls. Anyone remember that little practice? You'd let the answering machine pick up and then you'd listen to the message to see who it was before you picked up the phone. But caller ID took care of that.

But there were times when people just flat out couldn't get in touch with you. You just weren't available. You were out. At the movies. Or at dinner. Or out for drinks. You know, out. And no one could get you because you didn't have a phone on you. Duh! There were no cell phones. So say you were driving somewhere. You'd be left to your music and your poor driving skills, because you didn't have a phone in the car. Duh! There were no cell phones. Just you and the open road.

But now those problems are solved. We can talk anywhere, anytime baby. And like I said earlier, I couldn't be happier. Now pressing, life-saving business can be conducted on the fly. No such thing as being unavailable. You're alive, aren't ya? Well by golly pick up your cell phone because you're available.............

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