Are You Getting All This?

I'm not liking the tone of your voice. First off, you are not and never will be Jamaican. That needs to be understood, felt even, if we are to begin a dialogue on the inappropriateness of singing Christmas carols in the middle of October. Knowing that all things secular would have us decking the halls whilst we carved pumpkins, I can vaguely understand your excitement about singing the few songs that you actually know all the words to. But, can we please address the issue of Jah and pot and dreadlocks and how none of this really jibes with carols? Think for a minute, ponder if you will, and get back to me....

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Thoughts on Phish

The first time I heard about Phish was my senior year at Episcopal back in 1992. At that time in music history, grunge was just beginning to explode on the scene. Pearl Jam was about all we listened to. But I always kept time for my jam bands. I had already seen The Grateful Dead, The Allman Brothers Band, Widespread Panic and many others. CDs were still the way we listened to music, but cassette tapes were still around and were what you got all your bootlegs on. The internet didn't exist, or at least not to the public. Hearing about new bands was largely done by word of mouth. And that's how I heard about Phish. My first taste of Phish was their album "Lawnboy." I remember being impressed with the musicianship. I thought there was some Zappa-esque arrangements going on, as the music seemed to dart in crazy tangents. I also remember seeing a picture of the band and I thought they looked like a bunch of Trekky nerds. They definitely didn't look like MTV material,...

From Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"

"It is not advisable to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener."

At some point recently, the kids and I were telling each other stories. I can ’ t remember who went first, but Wyatt and Pepper each told their stories amid interruptions and corrections and suggestions. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Briar wasn’t talking yet, so it became my turn. Rather than the usual stories of kingdoms and unicorns and the garden variety stuff I usually went for, I decided to pull from my memory of past events. The kids listened in amazement, not really understanding what I was talking about. The story was a hit. And I think I’ll share it with you now. It was the summer of 1993. I had finished my first year of college at The College of Charleston. At the end of summer, I would be transferring to NC State. I enjoyed College of Charleston very much. I loved the 9-to-1 girl-to-guy ratio. It had been a great year. But I had spent most weekends driving up and back from Raleigh to see my girlfriend Marcia. At some point during the year, I had decided...

Malkovich

Malkovich malkovich. Malkovich, malkovich? Malkovich malkovich malkovich. Malkovich malkovich, "Malkovich, malkovich malkovich malkovich." Malkovich. Malkovich malkovich: malkovich. Malkovich... malkovich, malkovich. Malkovich!!!

Hillary F-in' Clinton

For the second day in a row, these god damn Hillary volunteers have taken up residence at my go-to coffee shop. The bitch is campaigning here in NC tomorrow, so these fucking idiot children are all excited about the prospect of seeing their savior walk on water. And these god damn children are barely old enough to vote. They still have their little heads in the clouds, thinking that Clinton gives a single damn about any of them. This is the exact class of morons that can single-handedly ruin this country. Them and the latinos, who probably won't be voting legally anyway. But these kids haven't been out in the real world. They haven't worked, sweated and then had asshole liberals tax them like crazy. They'll see. When their savior turns around and burns every one of them, they'll know they were stupid little fuckers all along. I'm really just pissed because I'd like to go to my coffee shop in peace and read my book without hearing these stupid fucking...

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