Where's the Money?

I need a day job, friends and neighbors.  Badly.  In the worst way.  To say that I'm cutting it close each month is an understatement of political proportions.  I currently have $1.38 in my bank account.  My kittens haven't had their beloved dry food in three weeks.  They've been getting by and the "reserve" cat food that my mom picks up at Sam's whenever she goes.  They don't like it, but they realize we're all in crunch time, so they're eating it.  And then there's me.  I haven't had groceries in the the house in weeks.  And I'm running low on some of the vitals.  So, I need to make some damn money.

And thoughts of this nature always drag me into regret for the way I've spent the last decade.  While most of my friends are now reaching some level of financial security, or at least breathing room, I am far from it.  I chose to keep having fun and avoid anything resembling responsibility.  I chose a "career" that is absurdly easy.  A "career" that entails over-drinking and over-sleeping.  And my reward for this choice is that I have no savings, no retirement and $1.38 in my bank account.  And I have no marketable skills.  So while I rapidly approach the ripe age of 40, I have nothing to really look forward to.  What does a 40-year old do to find a job that pays well after squandering the last 15 in the restaurant biz?

Yeah, this line of thinking doesn't make me happy in the least, friends and neighbors.  If I gave it a whole lot of thought, I'd probably worry myself to death.  And while the naive, childish cliche of "everything will work out" might work for someone in their 20's, its pretty hard to believe that in the mid-30's.

But suffice it to say, I need a damn day job.  Got to get some money with a quickness...............