The Original Blog

Carolyn had a pocket full of sunshine, but then she accidently sat on it. 5:57pm Philip Harmon at 6:07pm October 21 And darkness descended on the land... Carolyn Molway at 10:21pm October 21 Haha yes, and then we all froze, sorry guys.. Philip Harmon at 10:23pm October 21 And to think, everyone's been going on about these green house gases and such... when all along it was your ass that done sent us into the frozen years! Carolyn Molway at 10:29pm October 21 It changes lives. Philip Harmon at 10:32pm October 21 I'm assuming we're talking about your ass and not green house gases or frozen years. But to go with my assumption (which, as you know, makes an ass out of me and you), you should use that fine ass of yours for good, not evil... Carolyn Molway at 10:38pm October 21 It helps me get jobs and higher tip percentages Philip Harmon at 10:46pm October 21 Then you are using it for good. So go forth, young Carolyn, and snuff out not the sun, but shake that ass and reap th...

I'm not liking the tone of your voice.  First off, you are not and never will be Jamaican.  That needs to be understood, felt even, if we are to begin a dialogue on the inappropriateness of singing Christmas carols in the middle of October.  Knowing that all things secular would have us decking the halls whilst we carved pumpkins, I can vaguely understand your excitement about singing the few songs that you actually know all the words to.  But, can we please address the issue of Jah and pot and dreadlocks and how none of this really jibes with carols?  Think for a minute, ponder if you will, and get back to me....

Went to the NC State Fair last night.  Big fun!  Big big fun!  I usually go to sample the culinary treats.  Most years I just binge on corn dogs and avoid the rides.  But last night we were all about the rides.  And rode we did!  Upside down, twirly, flipping and all kinds of stuff.  It was great!  And the company I was there with was even better.  MP is quickly jumping up the charts as one of my favorite people to hang out with. In other news, the blogger I follow the most closely is at it again.  I'm beginning to detest this person the way I detest a Duke fan.  But she's got me hooked, so I keep reading the crap she writes.  I am quite certain now, based on her many posts, that she is one of the most conceited people one could ever meet.  This woman is so high on herself and her views that it is almost comical.  And she represents everything that I really hate about the Democratic party.  I would be much more willing to embrace them wholeheartedly if they didn't have peop...

I need a day job, friends and neighbors.  Badly.  In the worst way.  To say that I'm cutting it close each month is an understatement of political proportions.  I currently have $1.38 in my bank account.  My kittens haven't had their beloved dry food in three weeks.  They've been getting by and the "reserve" cat food that my mom picks up at Sam's whenever she goes.  They don't like it, but they realize we're all in crunch time, so they're eating it.  And then there's me.  I haven't had groceries in the the house in weeks.  And I'm running low on some of the vitals.  So, I need to make some damn money. And thoughts of this nature always drag me into regret for the way I've spent the last decade.  While most of my friends are now reaching some level of financial security, or at least breathing room, I am far from it.  I chose to keep having fun and avoid anything resembling responsibility.  I chose a "career" that is absurdl...

It is becoming increasingly clear in these ultra-political days that I may very well be a member of the wrong party.  And say "wrong party" not because they are wrong by definition.  I use the word "wrong" to mean that they may not be the right party for me. The party I have been loyal to for a while now does not have a lot in common with me.  As an atheist, I think the religious right is completely full of shit.  And dangerous as hell.  As much so as the damn jihad.  The fact that this group was part of my party was a complete embarrassment for me.  And I would like nothing more than to distance myself away from these nutballs. I also feel like my party would look at me financially with complete disdain.  I am not rich.  I will probably never be rich.  I am in fact a poor servant to the fat cats in my party.  I bring them food.  They treat me like shit.  And yet I belong to their party and spout their beliefs. I believe that women should be able to responsibly choo...

Enough about the election!  Who cares about the economic crisis?  Let's focus on some real news: Playboy Hugh Hefner eyeing twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Amy Leigh Andrews as girlfriends BY KORIN MILLER DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER Well, that was fast! Hugh Hefner is already on the hunt for new girlfriends just days after longtime loves Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson announced the end of their respective relationships with the Playboy founder. The veteran bachelor has admitted he's considering making 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon official girlfriends. RELATED STORY: HEF'S GIRLS: 2 DOWN, 1 TO GO The twins, who partied with Hefner on Oct. 4 wearing little more than body paint and briefs, "very much want to be girlfriends," Hefner told E!. "Now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends." This wouldn't be Hefner's first foray into twindom: The 82-year-old dated Bentley sisters Sandy and Mandy in ea...

Malkovich malkovich.  Malkovich, malkovich?  Malkovich malkovich malkovich. Malkovich malkovich, "Malkovich, malkovich malkovich malkovich."  Malkovich.  Malkovich malkovich: malkovich. Malkovich... malkovich, malkovich.  Malkovich!!!

As a long time member of the service industry, I always get a chuckle out of the fact that those in the industry genuinely hate the people they are charged with taking care of.  Granted, this really only applies to those of us who might be called "professional servers," because we've just been in the game so long that we've become bitter.  I imagine that those sad souls who work in the corporate chains such as Chilis, etc. hate their customers as well.  That should go without saying because that clientele really has no clue how to dine and/or tip.  But those of us who find ourselves in the up-scale restaurants have developed a deep loathing for some/most of our guests.  Be in rudeness, cheapness, crassness, what have you, we just don't like you much.  But we love our jobs and we really enjoy working with people who share our views.  We're usually foodies, meaning we know a lot about and really appreciate good meals.  We're drunks and like to go out and dri...

Is it even possible to compare the glory of an autumn day versus the glory of a spring day?  I mean both times are relative to the extremes they follow.  Those first warm days after winter are nothing short of miraculous.  To finally put on a t-shirt and shorts and bask in the warm sun.  Wow! But then there's autumn in NC.  We've just made it through another torturously scalding summer and then the cool air blows in.  Windows immediately open.  Long sleeves are pulled out of drawers and closets.  Leaves begin to turn.  Days get shorter.  There's even the occasional shiver from the cool air.  Heavenly. I would have to tip the scale towards autumn days.  Two Reasons.  First, we've got football and college basketball on the way.  Spring has the Masters and then a long drought for anything resembling exciting sports.  Second, there's no pollen in autumn.  Granted, the azaleas and dog woods are more than beautiful in the spring.  But there's all that damn pollen.  Eq...

It always blows my mind to think about how music can produce such vivid memories.  Most of the time I have trouble remembering what I did a week ago.  But let me listen to a particular song and I can all but tell you every single color, shape and smell of a particular memory. I used to listen to the Windham Hill Guitar Sampler to fall asleep back in junior high.  I remember a particular autumn evening taking a nap as the sun was setting.  I had my window open and there was a smell of burning leaves coming through the window.  The wind was blowing and there was the sound of rustling leaves.  It was an incredible nap.  I remember lying there vividly.  And to this day, the songs on that CD still conjure those memories. I got home last night and read one of my favorite blogs.  I like to check it often.  The author is quite good.  Very much conceited and quite full of herself.  And her youth often shines through in her posts.  But for some reason, I like to read what she has to say. Last ni...

I really don't want to work 2 jobs.  Really, really don't.  So its trim the fat time.  Cut to the bone.  Unfortunately the main area where I could trim expenses is the one area where I don't want to: alcohol.  Everything else can be tinkered with.  But damn it, leave my alcohol alone! What I need is to win the freakin' lottery.  I mean, let's just get it over with, friends and neighbors.  I'd be a great rich person.  I'd give back.  I donate, etc. etc.  All my friends would get styled.  Life would be good.  And I'd still work.  Probably keep my restaurant gig.  Like those trust funders I worked with in Aspen who did it as a social activity and not for the money.  Yeah, that'd be sweet.  And then I wouldn't worry about how in the holy hell I was going to pay these bills.  Because I know pretty much how much money I'm going to make each night at the restaurant.  The trouble is when you start doing the math and realize that there aren't enou...