Phones Are Dead...

Carolyn had a pocket full of sunshine, but then she accidently sat on it. 5:57pm

Philip Harmon at 6:07pm October 21
And darkness descended on the land...

Carolyn Molway at 10:21pm October 21
Haha yes, and then we all froze, sorry guys..

Philip Harmon at 10:23pm October 21
And to think, everyone's been going on about these green house gases and such... when all along it was your ass that done sent us into the frozen years!

Carolyn Molway at 10:29pm October 21
It changes lives.

Philip Harmon at 10:32pm October 21
I'm assuming we're talking about your ass and not green house gases or frozen years. But to go with my assumption (which, as you know, makes an ass out of me and you), you should use that fine ass of yours for good, not evil...

Carolyn Molway at 10:38pm October 21
It helps me get jobs and higher tip percentages

Philip Harmon at 10:46pm October 21
Then you are using it for good. So go forth, young Carolyn, and snuff out not the sun, but shake that ass and reap the sweet rewards. The world is your oyster, so shake that booty. (If you could hear me right now, I'm making a "rrrrrrr" cat sound as I snap my fingers in some hipster dufus way that I don't understand but somehow think is cool...

Carolyn Molway at 10:50pm October 21
Ha I'm going to have to before gravity takes hold of it.

Philip Harmon at 10:52pm October 21
let's see... 2007-1987= 20 years old. Think time is on your side, there hot pants...

Philip Harmon at 10:54pm October 21
No wait... shit, its 2008, isn't it? That equals 21 right? Oh, well now you're fucked!

Carolyn Molway at 11:03pm October 21
It's all downhill from here Phil

Philip Harmon at 11:06pm October 21
Ain't it the truth, my dearest. But the good news for you is that at least you won't go bald! Oh yeah, and you're really hot. So, wait, shut the hell up! I'm the one should be crying in my cheerios!

Carolyn Molway at 11:11pm October 21
Ha, Phil, are you just trying to blow sunshine up my ass?

Philip Harmon at 11:15pm October 21
Nicely done! I was hoping we were going to get back to your ass. But of course, being the southern gentleman that I am, I couldn't just go straight back there (man, are there some puns there!!!) But since we're back... why yes, that is exactly what I'm trying to do. Sunshine up your ass. I wouldn't have it any other way (again with the puns)!

Carolyn Molway at 11:17pm October 21
HAHA! Ok this is getting bad, I'm deleting this before my family reads it adios muchacho

Philip Harmon at 11:17pm October 21
adios my dear!

Are You Getting All This?

I'm not liking the tone of your voice.  First off, you are not and never will be Jamaican.  That needs to be understood, felt even, if we are to begin a dialogue on the inappropriateness of singing Christmas carols in the middle of October.  Knowing that all things secular would have us decking the halls whilst we carved pumpkins, I can vaguely understand your excitement about singing the few songs that you actually know all the words to.  But, can we please address the issue of Jah and pot and dreadlocks and how none of this really jibes with carols?  Think for a minute, ponder if you will, and get back to me....

State Fair

Went to the NC State Fair last night.  Big fun!  Big big fun!  I usually go to sample the culinary treats.  Most years I just binge on corn dogs and avoid the rides.  But last night we were all about the rides.  And rode we did!  Upside down, twirly, flipping and all kinds of stuff.  It was great!  And the company I was there with was even better.  MP is quickly jumping up the charts as one of my favorite people to hang out with.

In other news, the blogger I follow the most closely is at it again.  I'm beginning to detest this person the way I detest a Duke fan.  But she's got me hooked, so I keep reading the crap she writes.  I am quite certain now, based on her many posts, that she is one of the most conceited people one could ever meet.  This woman is so high on herself and her views that it is almost comical.  And she represents everything that I really hate about the Democratic party.  I would be much more willing to embrace them wholeheartedly if they didn't have people like this particular blogger screaming that crazy bullshit that she screams.  What a nut job!  But she does inspire me to write on my own blog.  So I guess she's not completely worthless.

So that's that.  I guess the thing to do now is rock this week out and make lots of money.  Oh, and curb my spending a tad.  It sucks going through the weekend with $2.00 in your bank account.  Better to monitor the ole spending, as to avoid those tough financial times.........

John McCain Brings Down The House - Al Smith Dinner Part 1

Obama Roasts McCain at Al Smith Dinner

Where's the Money?

I need a day job, friends and neighbors.  Badly.  In the worst way.  To say that I'm cutting it close each month is an understatement of political proportions.  I currently have $1.38 in my bank account.  My kittens haven't had their beloved dry food in three weeks.  They've been getting by and the "reserve" cat food that my mom picks up at Sam's whenever she goes.  They don't like it, but they realize we're all in crunch time, so they're eating it.  And then there's me.  I haven't had groceries in the the house in weeks.  And I'm running low on some of the vitals.  So, I need to make some damn money.

And thoughts of this nature always drag me into regret for the way I've spent the last decade.  While most of my friends are now reaching some level of financial security, or at least breathing room, I am far from it.  I chose to keep having fun and avoid anything resembling responsibility.  I chose a "career" that is absurdly easy.  A "career" that entails over-drinking and over-sleeping.  And my reward for this choice is that I have no savings, no retirement and $1.38 in my bank account.  And I have no marketable skills.  So while I rapidly approach the ripe age of 40, I have nothing to really look forward to.  What does a 40-year old do to find a job that pays well after squandering the last 15 in the restaurant biz?

Yeah, this line of thinking doesn't make me happy in the least, friends and neighbors.  If I gave it a whole lot of thought, I'd probably worry myself to death.  And while the naive, childish cliche of "everything will work out" might work for someone in their 20's, its pretty hard to believe that in the mid-30's.

But suffice it to say, I need a damn day job.  Got to get some money with a quickness...............

Beginning to See the Light...

It is becoming increasingly clear in these ultra-political days that I may very well be a member of the wrong party.  And say "wrong party" not because they are wrong by definition.  I use the word "wrong" to mean that they may not be the right party for me.

The party I have been loyal to for a while now does not have a lot in common with me.  As an atheist, I think the religious right is completely full of shit.  And dangerous as hell.  As much so as the damn jihad.  The fact that this group was part of my party was a complete embarrassment for me.  And I would like nothing more than to distance myself away from these nutballs.

I also feel like my party would look at me financially with complete disdain.  I am not rich.  I will probably never be rich.  I am in fact a poor servant to the fat cats in my party.  I bring them food.  They treat me like shit.  And yet I belong to their party and spout their beliefs.

I believe that women should be able to responsibly choose to get an abortion if they want one.  I have no problem with gays getting married.  If the dumb asses want to join together in misery, let 'em.  I believe we should clean up the environment and work on alternative energy sources.

I also believe we should clean up our international image.  And when we have achieved an international image overhaul, I believe we should pull back and become much more isolationist.  I really don't like us getting involved in every damn thing going on everywhere.  We should be working on cleaning up our country.  Let the other ones deal with their own problems.

I believe we should really work on border control.  We are losing our identity.  We are Americans.  We speak English in America.  EVERYONE should speak English in America.  How you communicate in your homes or churches or social clubs or whatever is your business.  But in this country at large, we speak English.  This open border problem will fuck us up as much as our energy crisis or our poor international image.  This shouldn't be overlooked.

But what I'm really getting at is that I'm not sure I'm part of the party that best represents me.  I'm going to need to really think about this.  I know that I will be voting for the other party's candidate for president.  Whether I vote for every member of that party on election day remains to be seen.  But I believe I'm beginning to see the light.................... 

And Now For Something on the Lighter Side...

Enough about the election!  Who cares about the economic crisis?  Let's focus on some real news:

Playboy Hugh Hefner eyeing twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Amy Leigh Andrews as girlfriends
BY KORIN MILLER
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Well, that was fast!
Hugh Hefner is already on the hunt for new girlfriends just days after longtime loves Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson announced the end of their respective relationships with the Playboy founder.
The veteran bachelor has admitted he's considering making 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon official girlfriends.

RELATED STORY: HEF'S GIRLS: 2 DOWN, 1 TO GO
The twins, who partied with Hefner on Oct. 4 wearing little more than body paint and briefs, "very much want to be girlfriends," Hefner told E!. "Now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends." This wouldn't be Hefner's first foray into twindom: The 82-year-old dated Bentley sisters Sandy and Mandy in early 2000.

RELATED STORY: HEF'S MANY PLAYMATES
Amy Leigh Andrews, a 24-year-old college senior from Georgia, is also angling for a spot in the line-up.
"She was testing here this past weekend and she said she'd like to be a girlfriend, too," Hefner said.

RELATED STORY: HOLLY MADISON SPLITS WITH HUGH HEFNER
So, who are these girls?
According to their respective MySpace pages, they're blonde, determined and not afraid of a little nudity.
"Obstacles r put into your life to see if wut u want is worth fighting for!!!" Karissa, who appears in a skimpy bikini alongside her sis in her profile picture, wrote on her page.
Twin Kristina's lingerie shot contrasts sharply with her romantic quote: "Love me without fear. Trust me without wondering. Love me without restrictions. Want me without demands. Accept me how I am. A love like that will be ETERNAL!"
Meanwhile, Andrews cites the wisdom of reality star Paris Hilton: "The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in."
Ample cleavage shots, pictures from a Halloween party at Hooters and Marilyn Monroe wallpaper also enhance her site.

Hefner's remaining official girlfriend Bridget Marquardt, who is believed to still be involved with Hefner, is reportedly abroad filming episodes for her upcoming Travel Channel series, "Bridget's Beaches."

A rep for Playboy had no comment on Thursday.

As if we didn't need another example of how our society is plummeting into shit!  Who fucking cares about any of this?  And the quote by perhaps the most worthless person in this country (Paris Hilton) really sums the whole god damn thing up: "The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go.  Life is too short to blend in."  Wow......

Malkovich

Malkovich malkovich.  Malkovich, malkovich?  Malkovich malkovich malkovich.

Malkovich malkovich, "Malkovich, malkovich malkovich malkovich."  Malkovich.  Malkovich malkovich: malkovich.

Malkovich... malkovich, malkovich.  Malkovich!!!

Service Industry

As a long time member of the service industry, I always get a chuckle out of the fact that those in the industry genuinely hate the people they are charged with taking care of.  Granted, this really only applies to those of us who might be called "professional servers," because we've just been in the game so long that we've become bitter.  I imagine that those sad souls who work in the corporate chains such as Chilis, etc. hate their customers as well.  That should go without saying because that clientele really has no clue how to dine and/or tip.  But those of us who find ourselves in the up-scale restaurants have developed a deep loathing for some/most of our guests.  Be in rudeness, cheapness, crassness, what have you, we just don't like you much.  But we love our jobs and we really enjoy working with people who share our views.  We're usually foodies, meaning we know a lot about and really appreciate good meals.  We're drunks and like to go out and drink very large quantities of just about anything.  We like the lifestyle.

I bring this up because one of the blogs I follow was mentioning local watering holes.  The tone of the particular post was very conceited (which I starting to realize is just the true nature of the author).  But I found it funny in a way too.  I guess those of us in the game see the whole thing in a different light.  But I find it very amusing when people talk down about places and describe the clientele that they find so offensive, while they are right there in the very heart of the crowd they are slamming.  Hypocritical to the extreme.  But there again, it little factions within this larger group begin to butt heads and clear certain places out because they can't stand to be close to their own kind, then more power to them.  The bar will be less crowded for those of us who are there to get some drinks.

Long story short, people are hypocrites.  People spew their so-called knowledge when in fact they don't have the first clue in hell what they're talking about.  I guess we should all just chuckle to ourselves................

Open Window Policy...

Is it even possible to compare the glory of an autumn day versus the glory of a spring day?  I mean both times are relative to the extremes they follow.  Those first warm days after winter are nothing short of miraculous.  To finally put on a t-shirt and shorts and bask in the warm sun.  Wow!

But then there's autumn in NC.  We've just made it through another torturously scalding summer and then the cool air blows in.  Windows immediately open.  Long sleeves are pulled out of drawers and closets.  Leaves begin to turn.  Days get shorter.  There's even the occasional shiver from the cool air.  Heavenly.

I would have to tip the scale towards autumn days.  Two Reasons.  First, we've got football and college basketball on the way.  Spring has the Masters and then a long drought for anything resembling exciting sports.  Second, there's no pollen in autumn.  Granted, the azaleas and dog woods are more than beautiful in the spring.  But there's all that damn pollen.  Equally beautiful are the autumn leaves.

So as I've already said, but will say again: I love this time of year and the month of October in particular.  Open those windows.  Go to the ball game.  Crack a beer.  Put on that sweatshirt.  Rustle through some leaves.  Get out and enjoy, friends and neighbors..............

Autumn Leaves...

It always blows my mind to think about how music can produce such vivid memories.  Most of the time I have trouble remembering what I did a week ago.  But let me listen to a particular song and I can all but tell you every single color, shape and smell of a particular memory.

I used to listen to the Windham Hill Guitar Sampler to fall asleep back in junior high.  I remember a particular autumn evening taking a nap as the sun was setting.  I had my window open and there was a smell of burning leaves coming through the window.  The wind was blowing and there was the sound of rustling leaves.  It was an incredible nap.  I remember lying there vividly.  And to this day, the songs on that CD still conjure those memories.

I got home last night and read one of my favorite blogs.  I like to check it often.  The author is quite good.  Very much conceited and quite full of herself.  And her youth often shines through in her posts.  But for some reason, I like to read what she has to say.

Last night though I was quite pissed.  What I read seemed to be a challenge.  Granted, it wasn't in any way a challenge.  And by thinking so, I'm showing that I, too, am conceited.  But damn it, I got mad.  And so I am answering the challenge.  I can write too, you know.  I can spew forth the most mundane drivel anyone has ever read.  And I will.  Back to the old days of posting every day.  Come hell or high water I will find something to write about.  Challenge answered........

Trimming the Fat...

I really don't want to work 2 jobs.  Really, really don't.  So its trim the fat time.  Cut to the bone.  Unfortunately the main area where I could trim expenses is the one area where I don't want to: alcohol.  Everything else can be tinkered with.  But damn it, leave my alcohol alone!

What I need is to win the freakin' lottery.  I mean, let's just get it over with, friends and neighbors.  I'd be a great rich person.  I'd give back.  I donate, etc. etc.  All my friends would get styled.  Life would be good.  And I'd still work.  Probably keep my restaurant gig.  Like those trust funders I worked with in Aspen who did it as a social activity and not for the money.  Yeah, that'd be sweet.  And then I wouldn't worry about how in the holy hell I was going to pay these bills.  Because I know pretty much how much money I'm going to make each night at the restaurant.  The trouble is when you start doing the math and realize that there aren't enough days in the month to cover the bills.

Maybe its time to jump ship.  Bankruptcy, baby.  Not a bad word anymore.  Or better yet, I can watch the economy and the country slide into further turmoil.  When we all start losing our jobs and can't afford things, I'm pretty sure that credit card debt will be one of the last things on our list of priorities.  These greedy vultures will feel the pinch of not collecting on the billions of dollars that the average american owes, and then those sorry fucks will go under.  And I will be like one of a zillion americans who just can't pay the bills.  And all will be solved.  Hell, maybe the government will pass some bill that'll bail all us average folks out of the shitter.

But I really don't want to work 2 jobs.  That's pretty much what was on my mind.............