January 28th, 2008: Monday Nite

So I thought I'd enter some selected journal entries here on my blog. One reason is so the blog itself will have some substance. Another reason is that I'm thinking of making a shift from writing in the journal to writing on the blog site. I'm pretty sure that no one will read either one, so it comes down to whether I want to write or type. And while its not a traditionalist view, I kinda like typing better than writing.. at least sometimes.

So this is an entry from 1-28-08

Nature hates a void. Nature hates a vacuum. Yes, these are some sayings passed on to me on certain various occasions. They were spoken to me in relation to my habits and vices. Now that I no longer smoke or drink, what will take their place? And does something have to take their place? What if they were like junk boxes that I threw out? Do I have to replace them with other junk boxes?

I feel like my life for last little while has been cluttered. I have been living recklessly. And I don't feel like dropping certain habits means that I necessarily need to pick up replacements. Thoughts of exercise are well and good, but the truth is that I really just don't like any of it. I can try to talk myself up but its pretty empty in the end.

I really would like to just read my books. I don't have much else on my plate. Nothing's really peaking my interest. And that's pretty much the case with everything in my life. Been there, done that. I don't miss any of it. I'm not looking to get back into any of it. I know what it all pretty much looks like, smells like, tastes like, feels like. I really don't need to experience it again.

So I'm just waiting for HGTV to give me my house in the Keys and I'll be just fine. Turn on, tune in, drop out...

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Lonely Ole Christmas...

I can't help but feel pains of nostalgia during the holiday season. I have had some amazing Christmas holidays over the years. I find myself thinking of my EHS days, in particular. We would have crushing exams right before we left for break. And my first year, we were still very much running under the old "rat" system that the school was founded on. The day we were leaving for home, all the new boys on 2nd McGuire had to go sing Christmas carols to all the seniors on the hall, which basically meant that we had to walk into several lion's dens. But more memorable than that was the fact that I was going home to see Alice. We had met over Thanksgiving break, and in one short month I had fallen in love for the first time. This was the first girl I had ever said "I love you" to. We had an amazing break together. I still have a picture of us together during those few weeks together and I cherish that picture like few others. Another EHS Christmas break w...

Hillary F-in' Clinton

For the second day in a row, these god damn Hillary volunteers have taken up residence at my go-to coffee shop. The bitch is campaigning here in NC tomorrow, so these fucking idiot children are all excited about the prospect of seeing their savior walk on water. And these god damn children are barely old enough to vote. They still have their little heads in the clouds, thinking that Clinton gives a single damn about any of them. This is the exact class of morons that can single-handedly ruin this country. Them and the latinos, who probably won't be voting legally anyway. But these kids haven't been out in the real world. They haven't worked, sweated and then had asshole liberals tax them like crazy. They'll see. When their savior turns around and burns every one of them, they'll know they were stupid little fuckers all along. I'm really just pissed because I'd like to go to my coffee shop in peace and read my book without hearing these stupid fucking...

The Week In Review...

I'm thinking that I'll start posting a "week in review" sort of thing each week, if for no other reason than to continue to pump out unreadable crap. I stopped writing in my journal with the idea that this would become my outlet. So I reckon that I'd better at least make an attempt to utilize this here outlet, as it were. So the week in review for the week of April 13th through April 20th, 2008... Sam passed away this week. He died the day after taxes were due, April 16th, 2008. He spleen ruptured and the vet put him down. My father and I were in the room with him when he passed. It was heart breaking and the image of little Sammy lying on the vet's exam room floor will forever be burned in my memory. But it is necessary that the pet's owner be there when the pet is dying. You should be the last thing that your pet sees, if possible. We owe it to our pets. Its the least we can do for their unconditional love and support. And now Sammy will sit up...

Life lessons learned

I'm sitting here with my two wonderful cats chewing on cold pizza and listening to some wonderful classical music. It is shaping up to be a nice, lazy Sunday night. I looked thru the want adds again today. I always look forward to the Sunday edition of the classifieds, in hopes that maybe they'll have a job for me. And the thought of new jobs always strays towards the dreams of what could have been... I wonder what I'd be like if... I hadn't met Tina? Or Angie? Or if I'd stayed at College of Charleston? Or if I'd kept any of my previous jobs? Or if I never moved from Beaufort? So many what ifs. And as I ponder my life, I am forced to accept the fact that I am a complete nobody. That, friends and neighbors, is a tough lesson to learn. For the longest time I held on to a belief that things would somehow work themselves out and I'd end up on top. That's not to say that I'm down and out. It is to say that this is not where I thought I'd ...

From Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"

"It is not advisable to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener."

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