Life Before Cell Phones...

What did we do before cell phones?  How could we ever have lived?  I mean, look around.  Everyone is on them all the time.  These are obviously very important conversations.  Why else have them in a crowd, in a public place, in the car?  I mean, these all must be live or die kind of talks.  So in that respect, I'm glad they're out there.  I'd hate to think of all the death and chaos that would arise if everyone couldn't conduct their pressing business immediately.

But I still wonder what we did before cell phones?  Actually, wait I remember.  I was alive.  Oh yeah!  So, I remember a time before we even had answering machines.  If you weren't home, the phone would ring and ring and ring.  And the wasn't call waiting, either.  So if you were on the phone, the caller would get this busy signal.  And that lead to phone rage.  A lot like road rage.  Yes, friends and neighbors, there was a time when there was thing as phone rage.  You'd be trying to get a hold of someone and the phone would be busy.  So you'd try back in a few minutes.  And it'd still be busy.  And you would get more and more pissed off.  Because you wanted to talk to this person.  And soon you'd be cussing them.  And if you finally got through, instead of telling them why it was you were calling, you'd probably be like, "what the fuck, man. You were on the phone for hours.  Damn!"

And then we got call waiting and caller ID.  Man was that awesome.  You could actually see who was calling before you answered.  Before that you'd have to screen your calls.  Anyone remember that little practice?  You'd let the answering machine pick up and then you'd listen to the message to see who it was before you picked up the phone.  But caller ID took care of that.

But there were times when people just flat out couldn't get in touch with you.  You just weren't available.  You were out.  At the movies.  Or at dinner.  Or out for drinks.  You know, out.  And no one could get you because you didn't have a phone on you.  Duh!  There were no cell phones. So say you were driving somewhere.  You'd be left to your music and your poor driving skills, because you didn't have a phone in the car.  Duh!  There were no cell phones.  Just you and the open road.

But now those problems are solved.  We can talk anywhere, anytime baby.  And like I said earlier, I couldn't be happier.  Now pressing, life-saving business can be conducted on the fly.  No such thing as being unavailable.  You're alive, aren't ya?  Well by golly pick up your cell phone because you're available.............

Another Hangover? Seriously?!

I gotta stop drinking so damn much!  I'm getting real tired of these hangovers.  And I hate how hangovers effect me as I get older.  You see, kiddies, when you're young, a hangover is just a really bad headache and maybe some pukers.  But when you get old like me, they become much more insidious.  I don't sleep well, so I'm dragging ass all the next day.  My head hurts, so that's the same as you youngsters.  But I'm also a complete fucking idiot.  I can't process things to save my life.  Simple conversations, simple directions, basically anything and everything becomes that much harder.  I walk around in a complete fog all day long.  It sucks.  And if I got especially drunk the night before, then my equilibrium is off and I'm constantly dizzy.

Yeah, so I gotta lay off the sauce.  I know I'm an alcoholic.  I've known for a while now.  But I also know that the scare tactics that are in place make it seem like all alcoholics are the same and all alcoholics fall-down drunks.  This is not the case.  Its a personal, one-on-one relationship.  Its easy, really.  Who's in control, you or alcohol?  Its not this "how many nights do you drink?  How many drinks do you have?" bullshit.  That's all a bunch of scare tactic bullshit.  Like I said, its one-on-one.  And as far as I'm concerned, when I drink, alcohol is pretty much in charge.  So I watch myself.  I've tried to cut out shots entirely.  Bad things happen when shots are involved.  And I try not to drink every single night.  You know, keep things in check.  Because I really don't want to go back to the meetings.  And I really don't want to quit drinking again.

So yeah, I need to lay off the sauce a tad.  You know, just give the ole body a break for a bit.  Because I'll tell ya, the ole body is starting to get a little pissed.......

Ah, the Freshmen Class...

Its that time of year again, friends and neighbors: back to school.  I remember with fondness how my buddies and I would head down to the brickyard and watch all the freshmen girls walking to class.  What a great week that was.  I don't think we even went to class.  We'd just perch in front of Harrelson (I think that's the buildings name) and watch the girls, girls, girls.

Of course, that also signifies the beginning of football season, followed closely by the beginning of basketball season.  So I've always had a special place in my heart for "freshmen season."

I also remember how excited we get at the thought of the new freshmen class that would head to Aspen every season.  The mountain would open on Thanksgiving day every year.  And the freshmen would start trickling in between early November and Christmas.  And all the wolves knew that that meant a whole new crop of girls from all over the world arriving in our little snowy paradise, ripe for the picking.  And in Aspen- where the ratio was something like one girl for every 20 guys- there was saying: "if you ever get a chance at the plate, you better swing for the fences, because you probably won't be at the plate again."  I won't bore you with how many times I got to the plate, friends and neighbors.

But for good or bad or the other, its freshmen season................

A Survey Type Thing....

Once again, I have nothing to say.  The news is lame, the olympics suck and nothing is happening in the sporting world.  So I copied this survey thing from another blog I like to read. I deleted her answers and will now fill in my own.  Wow, how original!

1) Raised in:
Fayetteville, NC.  From 1980 until college.  Though we did spend time in Charleston, SC when I was a wee pup and also in the UP of Michigan.  But ole Fayettenam is where all the magic happened!

2) Your name:
Philip H. Harmon.  The H. would stand for Hampton.  My grandfather's name, on my mother's side.

3) Birth date:
June 6th, 1973.  D-Day.  6-6-73.  Lots of 6's with me.  Born on the 6th day, 6th month, at 6:12 PM.  My grandfather died on my 6th birthday at 6:06.  My mother graduated college on 6-6-66.
Satan, baby!

4) Any siblings:
My younger sister Peryn is 32.

5) Oldest of them all:?
I am the first born of the family.  Me and Peryn.  With me being the one who broke in the rentals, took the licks, explored new lands, etc. etc.

6) Hair color?
Red

7) Hair length:
What little bit I have is shaved down to the skin.  Being bald, growing my hair out to any length at all is pretty silly and it looks dumb.  But in college I let it grown down to the middle of my back.  Fucking hippies!

8) First school:
That I really remember... was Fayetteville Academy.  Went there from 2nd to 7th grade.  Then good ole Hillcrest Junior High.  And then off to boarding school at Episcopal High School in Alexandria, VA.  Which, friends and neighbors, is also the boarding school where John McCain graduated from.  Me and McCain are alums.

9) Eye color:
brown.  boring ole brown.

10)Hobby?
Reading.  Reading.  More reading.  I don't own a TV, so when I'm at home, I'm either reading or sleeping.  I love music, too.  Jazz these days.  And classical.  WCPE.  And I enjoy golf, when its not 100 degrees outside.  And I really enjoy writing.  And drinking.

11) Moods?
Consistent.  Laid back.  Approaching the lazy, lethargic side.  But the peaks and valleys I had in Aspen when I was a drunk, drug addict have now softened into a steady plateau.

12) College:
Freshman year was College of Charleston.  7 to 1 girl to guy ratio that year.  Really liked it down there.  Graduated from NCSU.  Go pack!  Four years at State.  Amazed I graduated.  Terrible transcript.  Pathetic attempt.  Time and money wasted.  But I did get my diploma.


LOVE:

1) Do you remember your first real relationship:
My first true love was Alice Burruss.  Get relationship.  I look back fondly.  Still have all the letters she wrote me.  We dated while I was away at boarding school.  Long-distance relationship.  May well be the only reason we lasted for over a year.

2) Do you believe in love?:
Yessir.  But its been a long time since I felt it.  I remember the crazy, in-love feeling I had for some old girlfriends when I was younger.  I haven't felt that in a long time.  The butterflies, etc. It'd be nice to feel those again.

3) Shortest relationship:
They've all been long ones since beginning of college.  Damn, for almost 20 years now!  But back in junior high they were all quick ones.

4) Have you ever been heartbroken:
Every time I've fallen in love, my heart has been broken.  The damn thing is pretty beat up.  That's one of the reasons I wonder sometimes if it really even works right anymore.

5) Do you love someone right now:
Yes.  But I shouldn't.  And I'm not sure the kind of love I'm feeling.  But I shouldn't love her.

6) Have you ever fallen for a best friend:
Nope.  My love's have all developed quickly.  And these days, I don't have a lot of close female friends.  I'm close to a few females at work.  But once you're out of school and getting older, the odds of having a truly close friend of the opposite sex are pretty small, I would think.

7) Are you afraid of commitment?
I'm not afraid of it, no.  But I think I'm really bad at it.  Every one I've had has failed.  Two ex-wives.  Yeah, I think I really suck at it.

8) Do you believe in love at first sight:?
I think so.  It's a nice thought, anyway.  Kind of like Santa Claus.  Doesn't hurt to believe.


THIS OR THAT:

1) Love or Money:
Well, I've still got some bills to pay.  And I'm about as poor as anyone you'd care to meet.  No savings, no retirement plans, no portfolio.  Living from month to month.  Pathetic.  So, it'd be nice to have money.  And I don't think love likes me very much.  So while it'd be nice to have love, hoping hasn't done much good.  Hope in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.  So maybe money, then.  And a bloody ton of it.  Then I can live at the beach and read alot and drink alot and walk the dogs and play golf once in awhile.

2) One night stands or relationships:
Never had a one night stand.  And I've already said how much I must suck at relationships.  But, friends and neighbors, its been a very long time, so at this point I'd take whatever the hell came my way!

3) Television or internet:
I've been TV free for almost a year and a half.  And its awesome!  All these brain-dead zombies talking about what happened on the favorite TV show.  Who got voted off of American Idol.  Who fucking cares, idiots!  I get my news from the internet.  I follow what I want to follow.  I'm not force-fed all the bullshit that TV offers.  So internet, definitely.  And all of you, friends and neighbors, should kill your TVs too! 

4) Pepsi or Coke:
Coke.  Duh!

5) Long night out or romantic night in:
All of my nights out are long nights.  Professional drinkers such as myself don't one-and-done it.  We muscle up to the bar and stay there until someone kicks us out.  But I think I would prefer a romantic night in.

6) Phone or in Person:
I hate the phone!  I bloody hate the fucking phone!  Hate it.  Won't answer it.  Won't use it.  Hate it.  In person.  Face to face, baby.  The ancient art of communicating.  The way we used to do it before everyone and their mother had a damn cell phone stuck to their ear.

HAVE YOU EVER:

1) Have you ever been caught sneaking out:
Yep.  Funny story there, but I don't feel like typing it out.  That's for another post.  But yes, got busted.


2) Have you ever skinny dipped?
Yessir.  Don't remember details.  Drunk.  But, yes.

3) Have you ever been on a house boat?
Nope, but I've been on a really big boat.  (Forrest Gump)

4) Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker:
Ah, yeah.  Duh.  Childhood.  Sugar.  Duh.

6) Have you ever been streaking?
Nope.  I don't like to run.


RANDOM:

1) Are you talking to anyone right now:
Sort of.  I think.  Its really weird.  And I shouldn't be talking to her.

2) Are you German:
Nein.  Is that how you spell it?

3) Are you Italian:
Nope.

4) Are you French:
Nope.  But I spent a summer in France.  Lived with a family in Paris.  This, too, is for another post.  But suffice it to say, I love France.

5) Are you Mexican:
Nope.  But most of the US is getting that way.

6) Are you Dutch:
Nope.

7) Are you Native American:
Well, I was born in Chapel Hill, in the US.  So I am native to the US.  But no, not in that way. 

8) Are you Irish:
No bitch, I'm Scottish.

9) Are you Polish
No.  But I do dumb things all the time.  And I usually need help screwing in a light bulb.

10) Are your parents still married?
Yep.  Amazing.


DO YOU:

1) Do you get depressed easily?
Nope.  That was mostly just the lows of drug addiction.  These days I can keep the depression at bay.

2) Do you live life to the fullest:
No I don't.  I have wasted and squandered most of what has been given to me.  And I am currently doing as little as I can.  Its pretty lame.  All I can say is that I'm pretty tired.  And I no longer motivate myself.  I'm very bored with me.  So until someone comes along who inspires me to get out and do... I'll just keep on squandering.

3) are you comfortable with the way you look:
You gotta kinda have to be.  Scrawny.  Bald.  Obviously not pleasing to the female eye, because no one has shown any interest in so long I can't remember.  But, hey, this is what I got.  So what the hell do I care.  Plus, I'm smarter than most people I know and meet.  So what I lack in appearance, I make up for in brains.

4) How do you dress:
My designers are Banana Republic and J. Crew.  Its comfortable, casual, I guess.  

5) Are you scared of growing old alone?
I'm starting to see that as the writing on the wall.  I've got my cats.  And I'll have some dogs again one day.  So fuck it.  I'll just be that crotchety old guy.

6) What do you want to be when you grow up
I don't know.  I really, really, really don't know.  And I'm getting close to 40.  So I feel like my growing up isn't waiting for me to decide.  And I'll probably die still not knowing what I want to be when I grow up.

8) Are you a vegetarian:
I did have a salad for dinner last night.  But no, I like meat.  I could be a vegetarian, though.  Although, its pretty pointless to try to eat well when you also smoke, drink WAY to much and never exercise.  So at this point in the game, I'm am definitely not a veggie.

The Dark Knight: The Joker's Introduction

Coach K Sucks

So I was just reading about the US basketball team's game against Greece.  Blah, blah, blah.  But then I came across something very interesting:

"Wonder why Krzyzewski and senior men's managing director Jerry Colangelo were so insistent about getting quick versatile players with size rather than traditional big men? That's why.

The U.S. is not a big team but Bosh, who has sparked the U.S. with his defense and energy in two of three games in Beijing, said he hopes Thursday's win quieted doubters who believe a lack of size will eventually undo this team."

That was a from a article in the N&O.  And it struck me as appropriate.  Everyone who follows college hoops knows the style of ball coach K likes.  He loves for his annoying, bad-sportmanship-type guards to fly down the court and shoot as many 3's as humanly possible.  He runs tight man-to-man defense and instructs his slower and smaller players to tug on jerseys and do anything else to cheat in order for it to appear that they play "tough D."

Truth is, though, that Coach K is a tired, boring coach who hasn't come up with a new or good idea in well over a decade.  He does the same thing year after year.  And he doesn't know how to recruit or coach a big man.  The haven't had a true big man at Duke in so long no one can remember.  I mean, why have a big man when your entire offense is based around 3's?

So now you have the all-powerful Coach K who had pick of the litter in the NBA and the little rat weasel skips all the big men.  He wouldn't know what to do with a good big man anyway.  And so now we just have to hope and pray that some other team beats it into the paint over and over- like college teams have been doing for years- and Team USA loses and everyone points their finger at Coach K and blames him and finally realizes that the sorry son of a bitch really isn't the end-all-be-all of college coaches................

The Cold War, Part 2

Really?  Another Cold War?  Have you guys been following all this brew-ha in Georgia?  And the Russians are just pushing and pushing.  But they're not stupid.  Aggressive moves in these turbulent times puts them higher up the food chain.  Remember, they used to be co-#1.  And they want that back.  And they watch the us.  They see that the US is close to electing No-Bama.  A sure bet to lose the cold war.  Yes, unlike Reagan, who guided us through his 8 years of the cold war (and won the damn thing), No-Bama is the absolute worst choice to lead us into another cold war.  Starting to see the writing on the wall, stupid liberals?  Of course you aren't.  Just wait.

And for all you youngsters who missed out on the thrills of the Cold War, I've got a list of my favorite Cold War movies.  These should bring you up to speed.  Oh, and by the way, I was a kid in the 80's, so my choices are largely based on what I got from the 80's.  I'm not giving you any Bay of Pigs stuff.  My parents can bring you up to speed on those times.  So here goes, some good Cold War movies, so you'll be versed on what's to come:

-War Games

-Red Dawn

-Fire Fox

-Rocky 4

-Spies Like Us

-Dr. Strangelove

-The Hunt for Red October

NO-bama

That asshole Obama keeps sending me mail.  He knows I hate liberals.  He knows I think that democrats are as stupid and loathsome as Duke fans.  So why, friends and neighbors, does that sorry sack keep sending me mail?  I'm not going to vote for him.  I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire.  Its arrogant.  Its very, very arrogant.  The young pup is believing all this hot air, hype about himself.  And now he's sending us conservatives junk mail.  Fucking junk mail!

Damn those liberals!  Why can't we just load them up with the Duke fans and ship them far away? And then blow up the ship as it floats away!

I'm sure this won't be the last piece of junk mail NO-bama sends me.  Next thing you know he'll send me one of those damn bumper stickers for the Prius I DON'T have............

Cheating at the Olympics

Yeah, I know that I said I don't care about the olympics.  And I don't.  But I do care about cheating.  And the fucking Chinese cheated in the girls gymnastics to win the gold.

Did you guys hear about this?  The Chinese- cheating, fucking bastards- have three girls who are actually 14 years old on their team.  The minimum age is 16.  We've got a 19, 20 and 21 year olds. In the gymnastics world, those are dinosaurs.  And sure enough, the oldest one screwed up twice and cost the US the gold.  Why'd we have this fossil on the team anyways?  Serves us right for putting the old one in the lineup.

But for China to cheat and doctor the passports of 3 gymnasts.  That's bullshit.  And you know they did.  Its their passport for christ's sake.  They can alter that.  But everyone else's records on these 3 little cheaters shows they are clearly under age.  Nice going China.  Way to cheat!  Enjoy that gold medal.  Hope you and those little girls choke on them...........................

Just Like Heaven

Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream, she said
The one that makes me laugh, she said
And threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
Why are you so far away? she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you? 

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

-The Cure

No Surrender

We busted out of class had to get away from those fools
We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school
Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound
I can feel my heart begin to pound
You say you're tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down


We made a promise we swore we'd always remember
No retreat no surrender
Like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender

Now young faces grow sad and old and hearts of fire grow cold
We swore blood brothers against the wind
I'm ready to grow young again
And hear your sister's voice calling us home across the open yards
Well maybe we could cut someplace of our own
With these drums and these guitars


Blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender

Now on the street tonight the lights grow dim
The walls of my room are closing in
There's a war outside still raging
you say it ain't ours anymore to win
I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed
with a wide open country in my eyes
and these romantic dreams in my head

-Bruce Sprinsteen

Save For Me

save for me your one true love
sing to me your finest song
take from me this broken heart
show me that you love me still
oh he last time that you want it save for me

hold me through the wildest winds
wake me with your brightest smile
walk with me your longest mile
save for me your silent love
oh the last time that you want it save for me
oh your brightest smile save for me

catch the rain upon your sill
walk with me these rolling hills
shine for me your shining stars
take from me this broken heart

oh the last time that you want it save for me
oh the last time that you sing it sing to me
oh the last one that you dance with dance with me

and your sweetest kiss save for me

-Kevin Kinney

A Case of the Mondays...

Wow, is the sports page ever lame!  I mean, I at least hope to get through my first cup of coffee before I am entirely through all my news.  Today, I'm about a quarter through my cup.  That's sad. And all I've got to read about in sports is the stupid olympics.  And who gives a shit about the olympics?  Definitely not me!  Or I could read about Harrington winning the PGA yesterday.  But I watched it, so bag that one.

The news isn't much better.  Edwards and his affair.  Blah, blah, blah.  And my muse is still out of the area.  So I really am running on empty here.  So I guess I'll be going...........................

On the Olympics...

So I guess I could write about the olympics.  The opening ceremony was yesterday.  And now the sports pages I read are all full of the olympics.

So here goes: I could not care less about the olympics.  I truly don't care.  There is only one sport that I am following, but for ALL the wrong reasons.  Men's basketball.  The Redeem Team.

I want the US men's basketball team to suffer the most complete and embarrassing loss in the history of basketball.  I would love to see them get so totally destroyed that everyone in the world is left speechless and baffled.  Complete and total defeat.  I want nothing more.  I hate Coach K that much.  I have nothing against the players.  They're all a bunch of overpaid hotshots.  But that's the NBA for you.  But Coach K.  I hate the man.  He's just coaching for his own fame.  Nothing patriotic about his involvement.  If it isn't good for K, he won't do it.  And so I want the basketball team to get absolutely destroyed.  And I want all eyes to fall on that fucking rat weasel, Coach K.  And I want all fingers to point at the almighty coach.  I'd love it.  To see that sorry son of a bitch go down in flames.

Other than that, I don't give a flying whatever about the olympics.  The sooner they're over the better.......