2008...

Goodbye 2008.  Thanks for the giggles.  I'll be glad to see you leave.  But I must admit, you came on pretty strong there in the end and made yourself one of the most memorable years in quite some time.  I'm sure that when I look back, 2008 may well be the year where everything finally started turning around.  I've just got to keep the momentum going into 2009.

A year-in-review is not needed.  A lot happened, but I won't go into it.  Suffice it to say, outside my own little world, it was one of the most turbulent years in memory.  The economy is in the garbage.  The housing market is about to crash.  There is serious unrest in the middle east.  Our nations political arena is still wobbly, even though we have a new man at the helm.  Yada yada yada.

Tomorrow I quit smoking.  Tomorrow I quit drinking for a little while.  Tomorrow I try to  put myself on a path to gain some clarity and hopefully start moving in a new, positive direction.  Tomorrow is the beginning.  And so I say again, goodbye 2008.  Thanks for the giggles.........

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters

"Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters"

And now I know
Spanish Harlem are not just pretty words to say
I thought I knew
But now I know that rose trees never grow in New York City

Until you've seen this trash can dream come true
You stand at the edge while people run you through
And I thank the Lord there's people out there like you
I thank the Lord there's people out there like you

While Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers
Turn around and say good morning to the night
For unless they see the sky
But they can't and that is why
They know not if it's dark outside or light

This Broadway's got
It's got a lot of songs to sing
If I knew the tunes I might join in
I'll go my way alone
Grow my own, my own seeds shall be sown in New York City

Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
And I thank the Lord for the people I have found
I thank the Lord for the people I have found

-Elton John

Thoughts on a Nap...

Ah, the nap.  The glorious nap.  Few things in this world are as special as the nap!  Sound a bit overboard, do I, friends and neighbors?  Maybe, yes.  But can anyone actually tell me that they wouldn't love to settle down for a nice nap during their day?  What a luxury to have the time to stop everything and close your eyes and sleep!

I have valued naps more than most things since my high school days.  My boarding school was a tough one.  We were pushed from early morning until 11PM every night.  Sleep was a prized commodity.  So we slept at every chance we could get.  15 minutes?  No problem.  Lunch or nap?  Nap, damn it.  Bet your ass I'm going to grab some shut eye.

Then came college and naps became important for different reasons.  Classes began as close to noon as possible, so getting up at the butt crack wasn't a factor.  Rather, the hang over became the enemy.  And the nap became the cure.  A two hour nap could recharge the batteries for a repeat performance.  And let's not forget about all the pot smoked.  Nap after bong hits was a given.  Duh!

But the working world was next, and the glorious naps became extinct.  No sleeping on the job.  Work, work, work.  Do, do, do.  Blah, blah, blah.  You can bet your ass, though, that a nap would make an appearance during the weekends, though!  That is, unless you work in the restaurant industry.  Lately, I have taken a 2 hour nap every day for the past 5 or 6 months.  I get up, do a few things, eat lunch, and then sleep until its time to get up and shower before work.  And what an amazing thing to wake up refreshed from a nap and then head to work.  Yes, one of the great perks to working in the restaurant biz and doing nothing else is that I can get 10-12 hours of sleep at night AND take a nap during the day.  Now that's what I'm talking about!

There are nap rules.  Not all agree with my nap rules, but they are important to me and must be obeyed.  First and most importantly, you may NOT get under the covers!  That is the ultimate no-no.  Getting under the covers constitutes going to bed.  And a nap is not going to bed.  A nap is a glorious rest.  A reprieve from the day.  You are supposed to get under a blanket or throw, but NOT under the covers.  You can't break the seal.  The only other rule is that PJs really shouldn't be worn.  You should be dressed, for the all the same reasons as why you can't get under the covers.

And I've saved the best naps for last.  The naps that are far and away some of the most magical experiences we can have: naps with a loved one.  With all the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, with all the bullshit and noise and grief, with all of the crap, isn't it a little piece of heaven to be able to curl up with someone you love and hold them tight and smell their hair and close your eyes and fall asleep with them.  Snuggling, spooning, what have you.  The whole point is to stop everything and curl up and sleep.  Now that's special.  That's one of the things I miss most about not having a girlfriend.

Ah, the glorious nap.  I have iTunes playlists for them.  I make time for them.  I cherish them.  It is one of our little miracles that we can just stop everything and close our eyes and dream.  Ah, the glorious nap...........

Lonely Ole Christmas...

I can't help but feel pains of nostalgia during the holiday season.  I have had some amazing Christmas holidays over the years.  I find myself thinking of my EHS days, in particular.  We would have crushing exams right before we left for break.  And my first year, we were still very much running under the old "rat" system that the school was founded on.  The day we were leaving for home, all the new boys on 2nd McGuire had to go sing Christmas carols to all the seniors on the hall, which basically meant that we had to walk into several lion's dens.  But more memorable than that was the fact that I was going home to see Alice.  We had met over Thanksgiving break, and in one short month I had fallen in love for the first time.  This was the first girl I had ever said "I love you" to.  We had an amazing break together.  I still have a picture of us together during those few weeks together and I cherish that picture like few others.

Another EHS Christmas break was spent with Micki, another girl who I had fallen in love with.  I remember that break as being a very rowdy one.  And then there were the college Christmas breaks.  Lots of Phish shows.  Lots of debauchery.  Lots of great memories.

But these days the fun is all gone.  I have no one special to spend the holidays with.  No girlfriend to buy gifts for.  And the immediate family has fallen into a noticeable rut.  That is not to say that I don't have great time with mom and dad and sister on Christmas.  But is really no different than any other day.  We all have just let it slide into a very casual holiday.

And I dread New Year's Eve like no other day of the year.  It has become the loneliest day of my calendar year.  That feeling started in Aspen and has intensified with each passing year.  While I loathe the night for its "amateur" status, I still long for someone special to ring in the new year with.  I long to have someone special to kiss and the big apple falls.  I long to look into someone's eyes and whisper in their ear, "Happy New Year my love!"  And this New Year's Eve will be no different.  I will be sad and depressed at the thought of entering another year very much alone.  And so I say, "It's a lonely ole Christmas........"

national lampoons christmas vacation - just browsing

Christmas in Aspen...

The season has been pretty mild so far.  In fact, if it wasn't for the decorations in the restaurant, I wouldn't even know we were in the midst of the season.  I guess that is both good and bad.  Good because nothing kills the mood than an obnoxious season.  Bad because this is supposed to be the busiest month of the year.

Christmas in Aspen was the most dreadful experience you could ever wish on an enemy.  Locals who were fortunate enough to avoid Aspen would disappear until the new year to avoid the town.  And it was just the damn people who made it bad.  All the richies who owned the gigantic mansions on Red Mountain would descend on the town for 2 weeks and everything would go to hell.  These people are the rudest, most unpleasant people you could imagine.  Unlike the tourists who would visit during other times of the year, these awful people would look down on everyone around them.  It was truly a miserable experience.  And every local in Aspen will agree.  Granted, it was a big money time.  But we all hated those people.  And we dreaded those miserable two weeks.

But so far, this season is nothing like that.  I know it couldn't be because we generally have all the visitors that Aspen did.  We just get a ton of Christmas parties.  We also get family members coming to visit.  So all in all, its a mild, tame season.  But hopefully the restaurant will make lots of money this season.  I really don't want to look for a job in 2009..........

Best Friends...

Is it human nature to want to rush in?  Is it in our nature to see/feel something that we really want and then want nothing more than to rush in and embrace it?  Throw caution to the wind.  Jump in head first without a moment's thought.  I wonder.  Because that's what I've always done.  I have historically jumped the gun and thrown all caution to the wind.  And, you know something friends and neighbors, it hasn't really worked out that well for me.  In fact, you could say that its been more or less 100% bad.  Hmm.  Think about that one.  The only time that pops into mind when I haven't gone rushing in and have actually formed a friendship first was Marcia.  We were very close friends for quite some time before we stepped it up a level.

I don't have any problem with taking things slow.  I mean, I've been single for so long that I don't feel any pressure to jump right in.  Now that's not to say that I wouldn't jump the minute the opportunity presented itself.  But I am fine developing a friendship first....

The Great American Novel...

Been wanting to write a book for quite some time now.  I've always enjoyed writing.  I've always been praised for my writing.  Its always come very easy for me.  Words are fascinating and putting them together to form thoughts and ideas has enthralled me since I was little.

When I was a little boy my grandmother would read my little sister and me Dr. Seuss books.  They would make me laugh and laugh.  And she encouraged that.  She pushed my imagination.  I credit her and those early years for igniting a passion for words.

The trouble, though, is that I've been waiting all these years for an idea to come.  I've been hoping my muse will deliver a wonderful story to my brain and I'll just sit down and begin to write.  Call me crazy, but I don't think that the way it happens.  I think that the process starts on a much smaller scale and evolves into something bigger and more complex.

That being said, I've tried to use this blog as a chance to work on expressing my ideas.  I've sounded off on elections, candidates, cell phone users, anything and everything that pisses me off.  And now that a new year is approaching, I think I might need to start working on something of substance.  If nothing else, it could be a great learning experience for me.  I've never tried to write anything of any considerable length before.  And I've got a pretty good idea of what the books about.  Or, at lest I've got an idea of where to start.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have but one Christmas wish.  And that is true.  And its such a big wish.  And I do wish it would come true.  I think I'm due up.  I've been good.  I've waited patiently.  When others were getting their wishes, I've bitten my tongue and smiled.  My sister, for instance.  Seems she gets just about everything she wants.  And now I feel like its my turn and I should get wish granted.  And, oh how happy that would make me!

In other news, I found my first ex-wife on Face Book last night.  I friended her (a term that means I sent out a request that we be friends... she has to accept... and then we can communicate).  The funny thing is that I really don't remember anything about her.  I don't remember much about our relationship.  Its quite strange, really.  I remember before and after, but for some reason our time together is hazy at best.  And I've said for a while now that I'd love to catch up with her again.  I'd love to go out to dinner with her and get to know her again.  I'd love to do all this because it might explain a little bit about how I've ended up where I am.  It might shed some light on Angie.  And from the stories I've heard from my family, I'd just like to see if what they thought about her was true.  So we'll see if she responds or not..........

Christmas Scenes...

So I found some Christmas scenes on You Tube that I thought would post, as they are some of my all-time favorites...

A Charlie Brown Christmas - Christmas Time is Here Song

Charlie Brown Christmas

Leg lamp

A Christmas Carol (1984): Marley's Ghost

Christmas Carol 1984 - Scrooge explains clothing...

Hot Water...

The winter months at my apartment building are interesting months.  They are old apartments and the hot water can be kind of touch and go.  I learned last year that you need to sometimes give yourself about 1 hour to wait for the hot water, which kinda sucks, because that's one hour of letting the water just run down the drain.  But, that's pretty much the only way to get a hot shower.  So I'm letting the water run as I write this little blurb, in hopes of getting some hot water today.  Yesterday, I didn't time it right and was not so lucky.

I'm growing to despise the other blogger about as much as a Duke fan.  The author is the most pretentious, stuck-up little snob I've come across in a long time.  I'm sure she's as bad if not worse in person than she portrays herself on her blog.  But I still read it all the time.  Can't help myself.  Used to read it because I liked it.  Now I read it because she's so ridiculous that I just have to shake my head and laugh....

Not much else happening worth commenting on.  Gavin was in town last night.  We went out drinking on the company dime.  Always good times when he visits.  And I can tell by his topics of conversation that he's very much the family man these days.  Finn is 18 months and their second child is due in February, a fact that still blows my mind.  But seeing how happy he is makes me think that I too would maybe, just maybe enjoy the family life.  There's just the wee small problem of not even having a girlfriend.  So alas, my dear family life, we shall have to wait...

OK... just went and checked the shower and the water's starting to get hot... in less than 15 minutes.  So, friends and neighbors, I'll just sign off for now.......

Bootlegs...

I can remember getting my first couple of Grateful Dead bootlegs back when I was an early teenager.  Man, they were like treasures!  Most of them had been copied so many times that they sounded like shit.  But it was so incredible to me to have actual copies of old shows.  And I learned the whole bootleg language and how to write down set lists and everything.  And then I scored more bootlegs and more bootlegs.  I became obsessed with trying to get as many as I could.

Then along came recordable CDs.  Now we could put bootlegs on CD and not have to worry about fast-forwarding and rewinding, etc.  So out went all the old cassette cases and in came all the CDs.  We'd go to shows and brag about how many Phish or Widespread shows we had.  Yada yada yada.

Now there's the internet.  Everything is available with a point and a click.  You could have a zillion bootlegs if you wanted to.  Hell, you can copy shows straight to iTunes and then upload them onto your iPod.  All digital.  No worries of getting a 3rd generation.  Straight soundboard all the time.

I'm writing this because I'm listening to a streaming recording of last Saturday's Widespread show in Asheville (today is Monday).  It always amazes me what technology can do.  Gone are the days of old cassette bootlegs.  In are the days of being able to stream and listen to a show you saw less than 24 hours ago.  Amazing.......

Some Christmas thoughts...

My first thought about Christmas is always: "My god, is really Christmas time again!?"  It seems that each year it gets here faster and faster.  Wow!

Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of year.  Of course, for youngsters, its the whole Santa Claus and toys thing.  But in high school it was incredible because I went to a boarding school and Christmas meant getting to see all my friends for almost 3 weeks.  And unlike spring break, everyone was always off, so we could all spend time together.  And the times we spent together for those 3 Christmas breaks was magical.

And then came the restaurant biz and everything changed.  Rather than attend Christmas parties, I was working them.  Rather than enjoy time with friends and family, I was serving them all dinner and drinks.  Rather than go out and get crazy on New Year's Eve, I worked it and hated it.  So its very safe to say that Christmas has taken a much different direction these last 10 years.

So what is Christmas now?  Well, not very much, to be sure.  But I still keep a few things special.  I only listen to my Christmas music for the month of December.  The rest of the year its off limits.  So I enjoy hearing it once a year.  And there are a few cherished movies that seem to still hold a little Christmas magic.

It was pretty cool in Aspen during the month of December because it was cold and grey and snowy.  I attribute those qualities to Christmas.  It needs to be cold and grey and snowy.  Hot, sunny and clear IS NOT Christmas!

So as I type this little ditty on December 1st, I'm filled with mixed emotions.  Its going to be a busy month.  Its going to a good money-making month.  Its going to be over pretty much right when it begins.  And then another lack-luster Christmas season will be over and I'll put my special music on the shelf until next year.  This Christmas, though, I do have a Christmas wish.  Just one single wish.  I do hope it comes true.  And should it come true, then this will be be the best Christmas I've ever had..................

Writer's Block?

One post in November.  Stellar!  Top notch performance!  Guess its safe to say that the month of November was utterly forgettable.  And it was fast.  My god, that month went by in a literal flash.  I was commenting to a friend at the bar the other night that November basically didn't happen.  I remember Halloween... and then it was December.  Oh well.  Maybe next year we'll get a 12-month year.

Also been noticeably absent because I've got this blog hooked up to my Face Book page, which I thought would be a good idea.  I'm not so sure anymore.  I enjoyed the complete anonymity of this blog.  No one ever reads it.  I can say whatever the hell I want and not worry about repercussions.  I can spill my guts, delve into personal little secrets and the like and not worry about who reads it.  But dipshit me connected the two, so now wandering eyes can venture into my blogosphere.  Damn it Beavis.  Need to do something about that.

So I'm going to try to put something down every day this month.  Need to get back into the swing of things.  And this is a good month to do that because of all the bullshit that the Christmas holiday comes with...