Ah, June...

So June is here.  My birth month.  It used to be such a good month.  As a kid, June meant no more school.  It meant a birthday with presents.  It meant the pool and the beach and the tennis court. It was freedom and carefree days that lasted forever.  Man, it was a good damn month.

Now June is just like the rest.  Lost every bit of sparkle it ever had.  A lot has to do with the fact that my birthdays have all been pretty close to miserable for too damn long now.  Each year there's the glimmer of hope that maybe I'm going to embark on a better path.  That hope has been destroyed rather quickly each and every year.

But again, I'm holding out a little hope that this might just be the year.  For one, I'm starting in a much better place.  I have my own place, which I keep clean and feeling like home.  It's my own little sanctuary.  No one knows where it is and when I'm here, I'm left alone, which I really like.  Also, I've got a good job.  And I'm not strung out, doing my typical self-destruction thing that I was so into for so many years.

And then there's paralegal school which starts tomorrow.  I'm hoping that this is a step in the right direction.  It gets me out of the restaurants and into a career that I can see myself settling nicely into.  Its going to be a tough month, with all the work they're cramming into one month. But I'm not worried about it.  And then the plan is to be employed at a law firm by the time college football gets underway.  But even if that's not the case, I've got the Bistro to pay my bills until the law job comes around.

So, after nearly a decade of fading hopes and shitty birthdays, maybe I'm finally going to catch a break.  I tell ya, it'd be nice for things to start working out.  I'm sure am tired of getting the short end of the stick all the time.

And on the domestic front, if you can call it that, my ex-wife made a bone-head play on Friday night which my precipitate an end to this drawn out "friendship" we've had for the 5 years since we split.  We happened to be in the same bar on Friday night.  For the record, I was there with my friends long before she got there Friday night.  And when she did arrive, it didn't change our behavior in the least.  We continued to have a good time, oblivious to her presence.  Also for the record, it is a bar that I've been going to (with my friends) for well over a decade.  And then after saying hello to her when she approached me, we went back to having fun with our friends. She then had one of her random friends come up and tell me that I was making her uncomfortable and that I should leave her bar.  What strikes me as odd is that nothing was happening.  There was no drama.  She and I had been to that same bar together a couple of times.  She and I still hung out once in awhile.  Why now all of the sudden does it make her uncomfortable?  What circumstances are different to make it bad?  What's the big fucking deal?I guess that since I was there with other people, she felt weird.  And that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  So naturally I'm lead to believe that the end to this random, post-divorce friendship has run its sad little course and is finally over.  And so be it.  No lost sleep here...

So, there you have it friends and neighbors.  On Friday June 6th, I will be 35.  And maybe, just maybe this will be like the Junes of old.  Maybe, just maybe this will be a good year..........