The Original Blog

I just read something that made me laugh and was too good not to put on the blog... It seems that Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka the hooker who was screwing the governor of New York, is suing Girls Gone Wild  for exploiting her. The law suit claims that Dupre "did not understand the magnitude of her actions, nor that her image and likeness would be displayed in videos and DVDs," so she's suing the company for $10 million. Here's the real story: this stupid whore knew exactly what she was doing and now sees a chance to snag some money, since her singing career is in the toilet.  I realize that the girls that appear on Girls Gone Wild  are generally stupid, but they know damn well what's going to happen.  They might not know the magnitude, but they know what's going to happen.   What ever happened to taking responsibility for your actions?  Nowadays we get to sue people the minute something bad happens.  We get to complain and moan.  The fucking girl signed up to d...

I was looking for a song from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  Its not the first time I've looked for this song.  Its by the Dream Academy called "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want."  Its from the scene where they're in the art gallery.  Bad ass song! I started a little research, thinking that I'd find somewhere to find it.  I mean, come on, you mean to tell me its impossible to get the tune just because there's no soundtrack for the movie? So I started digging.  Wikipedia listed a bunch of groups that have covered the song.  And I came across Emilie Autumn, for she covered said tune.  I typed her name into iTunes, where I am able to point and click anything I want... Well, surprise, surprise... I really like this girl.  How fucking strange is that?  I listen to classical in my car and jazz in my apartment.  I not really into goth chicks.  But I gotta say, she's pretty damn good.  I'm listening to her as I type right now.  And it may be that I...

Here's your day late Week in Review for the week of April 21st- April 27th.  And its good that this puppy is a day late, because last week was such a big week that being on time would have been too much to handle. Yeah, right!   The weekend was relatively good.  Raleigh had the big Beer Fest on Saturday.  I attended and got to see one of my oldest and dearest friends, Jason Gavin.  We had a blast and drank much, much good beer. But the drinking of all this beer leads me to my main thought.  Since New Year's Eve this year, I have basically quit drinking.  I did it with the knowledge that I'd definitely drink again, but it wasn't going to be at my past levels.  I also did it to quit smoking. Well, guess what friends and neighbors?  I'm drinking a lot again and I smoke like a fucking chimney when I'm drinking.  So I'm feeling rather down on myself for essentially throwing a lot of hard work and sweat down the trash. I'm going to need to regroup and get myse...

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day. "We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great- grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights." ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one i...

Going to the World Beer Fest in Moore Square tomorrow.  Gonna be good fun.  My buddy Gavin is getting me into the gig for free in exchange for helping him at the Brooklyn booth.  I think that's a fair trade. Those few enlightened souls who understand that beer is truly a divine gift will likely be as excited as I am for this event.  Any chance to laugh in the spring sunshine while drinking fabulous beer is aces in my book. The important thing is to get good sleep tonite so I'll be good and rested for tomorrow.  Yum.....

Made a pretty big breakthrough yesterday on the driving range.  I dusted off the clubs about a month ago after a 2 year hiatus.  My first few times out weren't too bad.  Just the normal rusty strokes.  But then I bottomed out.  Had one of the worst days hitting I've ever had.  I then got new grips on my clubs and yesterday was my first day with the new grips.  The first half of the bucket was total shit.  Absolute crap, and I thought I was in for a rocky period.  But then I had the breakthrough.... Tempo is everything!!!   I was trying to bring the club back slowly, but coming back down to the ball I was flying.  Well, friends and neighbors, you're fucked if you tighten up and swing faster back down to the ball.  It simply doesn't work for the amateur player. So what I did yesterday and today was to try to swing as slowly and smoothly as possible.  Golf clubs these days are designed to do almost all the work, so we should let them.  If you swing as slowly and as relaxed...

I saw War Games the other night.  What a riot.  It's the 25th anniversary of the movie, in fact. What a classic film!  A few scenes really stuck out for me.  There is one scene where Broderick puts a floppy disk into the computer that must have been 6 inches x 6 inches.  It was huge!  And yes, children, computers used to require those huge things.  When I first sat at a computer in elementary school, we had to use floppy disks.  It would have been around the time War Games  came out.  The computers back then couldn't do a damn thing and you had to tell the computer everything you wanted it to do.  My family got an Apple IIe when they first came out a thousand years ago and besides me playing Spy Hunter and Castle Wolfenstein, it just sat there. There was another scene where Broderick is doing research on Falken and he's using the card catalog at the library.  How many of you children remember the Dewey Decimal System?  That's right, before computers people had to look u...

Here we have a nice view from my good ole couch.  I had to dig up the digital camera software to find this merging program, but I think it came out pretty good. Quite a view, huh?!

With summer approaching, its almost surf time!  I myself haven't jumped on a board in many, many years.  I'm thinking about taking it up again, though.  And as I dream of that spiritual release that Body was so keen on talking about, I find myself also weighing the cons.  For one, there's that pesky little bugger known as melanoma.  Bastard that he is. And you can't forget about nipple rash, shark bites, rip tides, drowning, to name but a few.   You also run the risk of being distracted...

Number of People in the U.S. Who Cannot Speak English on the Rise Latest Census figures demonstrate dramatic increase in limited-English proficiency in America Today, more than 300 languages are spoken in America. In fact, according to the most recent Census, 24.2 million Americans cannot speak English! And this percentage is 14 percent higher than the 2000 figure — and 73 percent higher than the 1990 figure! Around the Nation: There are 9 states where at least one-in-ten individuals are limited-English proficient (LEP): Arizona, California, Florida, Hawaii, New York, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, and Texas. In 1990, there were only 14 states where five percent or more of the population was LEP. In 2000, there were 19 such states. As of 2006, there are now 22 states. In 1990, there were only 19 states where three percent or more of the population was LEP. As of 2006, there are now 34 such states. In 1990, the following 10 states had a combined LEP population of 490,710: North C...

CRITICAL AMENDMENT THAT PROTECTS ENGLISH-LANGUAGE POLICIES IN THE WORKPLACE BLOCKED BY SPEAKER PELOSI  Amendment in the House that would have protected employers’ rights to require their employees to speak English on the job blocked by Pelosi and Hispanic Caucus Speaker Nancy Pelosi, bowing to the demands of the Hispanic Caucus and the ACLU, has vowed to kill an amendment, passed by both the House and Senate, which prevents the funding of lawsuits by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) against businesses that require their employees to speak English on the job. As you know, U.S.ENGLISH has been on the frontlines of the battle to protect the rights of organizations, like the Salvation Army, to require their employees to speak English in the workplace. And we stand firmly behind Senator Lamar Alexander’s amendment to protect the rights of employers to implement English-language policies. Yet, despite the majority of Americans who believe employers should be allowed to req...

Its not that warm today.  I don't like that.  We're pushing May here, people, and the temperature is still fluctuating at an inappropriate level. From what I can figure, Spring and Fall have all but vanished.  In recent years, its seems like spring lasts a weekend and then its a million degrees.  And fall might get a long weekend, what with the foliage and all, but that its and then its on to cold ass weather. Today is a good example.  All weekend we were in the low 80's.  Damn near perfect weather.  I had the windows open and was quite enjoying the book as I lay on the couch, spring breezes blowing into the room, cats on the sill sniffing the air.  But today, too cold.  Not freezing, but too cold.  Can we just get to a steady spring temperature and stay, for pete's sake? And please don't give me any of this Al Gore, global warming bullshit!  You can't make a single comment about the weather these days without some tree-hugging lib throwing out a sermon on globa...

So I decided it was time to dust off the ole guitar strings and get back into music.  Its been quite awhile since the days of Max Powers  and I miss the stage.  I also saw that Tricky is doing well in the Mason Dixons  so I thought to myself, "why not me?" I've been looking for band mates for a few weeks now.  I was definitely locked into the rhythm guitar role.  No way I'm going to even take a crack at lead.  And as the weeks passed, I began to add the necessary pieces to the puzzle...   And now I'm happy to say, I think I found the all-elusive, ever important "front man." As it turns out, she's a "front woman" of sorts.   Granted, she can't play a lick of guitar.  And she doesn't really sing all that well.  But the band and I really think that she's the presence that we really were lacking. Naming the band is proving difficult.  We're kicking around ideas and nothing's really stuck out.  So until then, just think of u...

I'm thinking that I'll start posting a "week in review" sort of thing each week, if for no other reason than to continue to pump out unreadable crap.  I stopped writing in my journal with the idea that this would become my outlet.  So I reckon that I'd better at least make an attempt to utilize this here outlet, as it were. So the week in review for the week of April 13th through April 20th, 2008... Sam passed away this week.  He died the day after taxes were due, April 16th, 2008.  He spleen ruptured and the vet put him down.  My father and I were in the room with him when he passed. It was heart breaking and the image of little Sammy lying on the vet's exam room floor will forever be burned in my memory.  But it is necessary that the pet's owner be there when the pet is dying.  You should be the last thing that your pet sees, if possible.  We owe it to our pets.  Its the least we can do for their unconditional love and support.  And now Sammy will sit up...

I had to put my golden retriever, Sampson, down yesterday.  Cancer caused his spleen to rupture and he had significant internal bleeding by the time we knew about it.  He didn't suffer.  In the end he went very quietly while I petted his face.  My dad and I were there at the end, so my dearest Sammy was with his owners and we were the last things he saw. My life is a happier, fuller life because of Sam.  He was the most gentle, loyal and loving dog anyone could hope for.  He and his brother Barley were inseparable and shared 11 wonderful years together. Sammy loved couches and comfy chairs.  He loved to walk in the sun.  He loved to run and play. He was the first one in line for a walk.  He loved to swim and even got to swim in the ocean once.  He loved to run and play in the Colorado snow. Sammy lived in many great homes.  From his puppy days in Pinehurst, he joined the family and lived for several good years in Raleigh.  He also had nice yards in Fayetteville, Wilmington, Beaufor...

Its been several years since I've watched the Masters.  Not because I hate watching golf.  Quite the contrary.  I love watching golf.  But only if Tiger is winning.  And once again, this year the green jacket went to some other lucky golfer who won because Tiger had a relatively off weekend.  Now he did finish second , so we can't say it was a waste for him.  But for me, it was disappointing because, again, I love to watch golf and I love to watch Tiger win. I wasn't always like this.  I used to watch it regardless.  I do the same thing with other sports. Whenever UNC loses in the NCAA tournament, I refuse to watch the rest of the tournament.  I have no interest unless the Heels are in it.  A thousand years ago, if my favorite tennis player lost early, I'd quit watching the tournament.  Why watch if Edberg or Becker or Johnny Mac was out?  What the hell do I care? So again this year, I missed out on Sunday at the Masters.  I hope Tiger is in the final pairings on the re...

It occurred to me today that humans have hit the ole plateau in terms of evolution.  And I had this epiphany as I drove past a Canada goose.  The animal was standing in place staring straight ahead doing nothing.  Not a twitch.  And it dawned on me that this animal is completely sensory.  Whatever it senses, it reacts to.  But it does not function on a cognitive level.  Not thoughts.  No reason.  No processing of information.  Are you seeing where I'm going with this? A lot of the humans I encounter on any given day are functioning on about the same level as the Canada goose.  Our news, our entertainment, everything is tailored to a public that needs it quick, easy, and gut level.  React, react, react. Flip the phone open and talk anywhere, anytime.  React.  Hop online.  React.  Drink.  React. Mate.  React.  Vote.  React.  Talk.  React. I doubt anyone who's spent any time in the public would doubt that we are a bunch of dumb fucking animals. So that leads to my question: is it ...

The trouble with iPods is that they are so darn small that you can't read what's on their little screens unless you pick them up and actually have the little buggers in your hand. Only then can you see what someone is listening to.  And you don't want to bother the person while they're listening by asking them questions, causing them to hit the pause and then answer in exasperated tones.  So really the only way to know is to pick the thing up.  That can be a problem. It can also be the ultimate blessing , depending of course on the situation.....

I'm coming up on one year without a TV.  That's right, friends and neighbors.  One whole year without the mind-numbing influence of the boob tube.  And how in the holy hell can one get along without a TV, you might ask?  How do you what to buy and think and wear? Well, my peeps, its called reading .  I read for entertainment.  I read for knowledge.  I read for news and sports and entertainment and every thing else.  But as much as I like to think that it somewhat shields me from my completely stupid and altogether worthless  fellow citizens, I find that reality finds ways to get through.  Granted, I don't have to run for the remote, desperately trying to hit the mute before having to listen to Hillary Clinton.  I can selectively choose what I read.  But there are still headlines.  And you really just have to shake your head and realize that we are all going straight to hell  when you read these headlines. Here's a selection of headlines for Wednesday April 9th, 2008 .  ...

TAKE A FEW MOMENTS AND READ THIS LETTER. THESE ARE STRONG, POWERFUL AND COURAGEOUS WORDS COMING FROM A RETIRED COLONEL. AND READ WHAT LINCOLN HAD TO SAY AT THE END. WOW! 33 Senators Voted Against English as America's Official Language onJune 6, 2007. On Wed. 6 June 2007 23:35:23 - 0500 Colonel Harry Riley, USA, Ret. wrote: Senators: Your vote against an amendment to the immigration Bill 1348......to make English America's official language is astounding. On D-Day, no less, when we honor those that sacrificed in order to secure the bedrock, character and principles of America, I can only surmise your vote reflects a loyalty to illegal aliens. I don't much care where you come from. What your religion is. Whether you're black, white, or some other color...male or female......Democrat, Republican or Independent....... But I do care when you are a United States Senator representing Citizens of America ....and Vote against English as the official language of the United St...

EXT. LANCE'S HOUSE – NIGHT Vincent is already out of the car, working on getting Mia out. LANCE Have you lost your mind?! You crashed your car in my fuckin' house! You talk about drug shit on a cellular fuckin' phone – VINCENT If you're through havin' your little hissy fit, this chick is dyin', get your needle and git it now! LANCE Are you deaf? You're not bringin' that fucked up bitch in my house! VINCENT This fucked up bitch is Marsellus Wallace's wife. Now if she fuckin' croaks on me, I'm a grease spot. But before he...

And there you have it sports fans: the Kansas Jayhawks are the national champions!  I looked briefly around the internet to try to find a device that could accurately measure how little I cared about this fact, but I couldn't find it.  Apparently we as people have not yet developed technology that fine-tuned.  Oh well. And as if mirroring the triviality of the jayhawks, the overall news today was boring.  I couldn't even find anything worth a damn to "inspire the pen," as it were. So what now, friends and neighbors?  I'm still plugging away at my book, "Infinite Jest," by David Foster Wallace.  I remember it getting an incredible write-up in Newsweek in 1996.  I ran right out and bought it.  And I tried to read it a few times over the past 12 years.  But believe me when I say it as a daunting book. Weighing in at over 1200 really small  words, it takes some serious time to turn the pages.  I'm on page 244 and I feel like I've been at it for weeks...

Never, ever pass up on an opportunity to laugh at yourself!  I laugh at myself almost non-stop. Some people think I'm "special." I was just making my bed.  I have lime green flannel sheets with kittens and balls of string and mice on them.  I had to chuckle.  For many reasons.  I really don't care what's on my flannel sheets.  But it is funny that a mid-30's male has lime green kitten sheets.  I am completely, 100% confident that I will be the only one who ever sees these sheets.  No young ladies will ever comment on how cute the sheets are.  The "dry spell" will continue, even as Falls Lake is back to normal levels.  And my kitten sheets will be my own private indulgence. I now am beginning to understand how old people can completely "let themselves go."  You really do stop caring about certain things.  Priorities of my 20's are basically silly to me now. Yes, Widespread Panic will be at the Creek in two weeks.  And no , I don't gi...

Today marks the first day since last October that I haven't had to drag myself out of bed to go to the stupid manager's meeting at the book store.  Oh sweet relief!  Man, those were stupid meetings!  Led by an incompetent baffoon.  And I say, fuck 'em. Let them continue to struggle.  As long as that idiot is calling the shots and the whole store is hating him behind his pathetic back, let 'em suffer. Of course, the cats didn't get the memo about my change in employment.  So of course Moon was up and ready for some vittles at 5AM.  I was able to push her away until about 7:45AM.  Bless her little heart. There is an article in the NYT book review section about blogs and the number of bloggers who are dying from the stress and pressure of the blog lifestyle.  That's sad, folks.  And its is also sad that I am even pretending that anyone reads this here little blog of mine.  I have taken it off every kind of search engine thingy because of all the "unauthorized...

Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave I am! Is it not monstrous that this player here, But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, Could force his soul so to his own conceit That from her working all the visage wanned, Tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect, A broken voice and his whole function suiting With forms to his conceit?  And all for nothing- For Hecuba! What's Hecuba to him, or he to her That he should weep for her?  What would he do Had he the motive and that for passion That I have?  He would drown the stage with tears And cleave the general ear with horrid speech, Make mad the the guilty and appall the free, Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed The very faculties  of eyes and ears. -Act 2, Scene 2

Well, the boys lost to Kansas last night.  It was not a pretty game.  The Heels pretty much got their asses beat.  And what can you do, right?  These things happen in sports. Now I still believe that UNC is a better team.  And they should be the national champions.  But, like I said, these things happen. And I really didn't enjoy watching the game all that much.  I have been just reading about the games online after they are over, which is becoming the only way I'll participate.  If the Heels lose, I simply see the headline and don't go any further.  Its a lot less stress, that's for sure. There were days when the loss would have hurt much more than it does now.  I was bummed that they lost, but that's as far as it went.  Life went on.  The sun did rise this morning.  Things continued to happen. So that's all I've got on that one.  I haven't been feeling all that expressive lately.  But as ideas, thoughts and the like strike me, I shall be back to do wha...